What a long time since my last post! I haven't been doing much of anything except working and taking care of my toddlers! My kids are 3 and almost 2... My oldest son, Cheetah, is no longer in our home, but I still keep track of him. He has been struggling, but his story is his own...and I will not share it here. Regardless, prayers for him are always welcome.
6 years ago in May, I graduated veterinary school. The first 2 years were brutal. There were many times I thought I would just walk away from it completely. It is a heavy burden to carry the weight of beloved pets' health. Every single day. I took it hard when owners didn't follow my recommendations, their pet declined, and then sometimes responded in anger toward me. I emotionally handled work even worse when pets didn't respond to the "gold standard." Since those first 2 years, I've learned to detach a little (and had 2 babies and an unknown number of foster children). I'm learning to accept my limitations. I'm not omniscient or omnipotent. I can't always know the answers, and I certainly can't know the answers when recommendations for diagnostics are not followed. There are clients who are just mean, demanding, unreasonable, and just plain ignorant but unwilling to learn. There are clients who are amazing, kind, teachable, and appreciative. The second type are the ones I stick around for... but how do I handle the first type? I've also had a few HR conflicts at work, and it's really led to significant burnout. Lately, the veterinary trade journals have been flooded with articles on compassion fatigue, burnout, and the general poor mental state of veterinarians. It seems as if every month, I hear of one of my colleagues committing suicide. Did you know that the rate of suicide among veterinarians is very high compared to the general population? These are from an article in Veterinarian's Money Digest (which they got from a CDC study on veterinarian health):
- 6.8 percent of male and 10.9 percent of female veterinarians have
serious psychological distress, compared with 3.5 percent and 4.4
percent of male and female adults, respectively, in the general
population.
- 14 percent of male and 19 percent of female veterinarians have
suicidal thoughts, three times that of the general U.S. population.
- 24.5 percent of male and 36.7 percent of female veterinarians have
experienced depressive episodes since veterinary school graduation,
about 1.5 times the prevalence among U.S. adults throughout their
lifetime.
- 1.1 percent of male and 1.4 percent of female veterinarians have attempted suicide since veterinary school.
I have never personally considered suicide, but I have experienced mental anguish so intense because of my job that for a moment...I understood why veterinarians commit suicide. So what can I do to make it better? What can I do to improve our profession? I spent a lot of time thinking about this. What is they say on the airplane? Put on your own mask before assisting your neighbor. So, I signed up for therapy. But...the therapist had a 4 month wait list.... so I started studying the Proverbs and reading numerous books. I'll try to blog a little more this year. I have rare instances of my kids not needing constant attention...rare instances indeed. Maybe my blog will help someone...maybe not, but at least it will be therapeutic for me.
