I'm captured!!! 

Ok... maybe i will give up.... 

Boogie Wonderland!

Dance! Boogie Wonderland!

*parades through room*

Sound fly through the night
I chase my vinyl drams to boogie wonderland
I find romance when I start to dance in boogie wonderland
I find romance when I start to dance in boogie wonderland

All the love in the world can’t be gone
All the need to be loved can’t be wrong
All the records are playing
And my heart keeps saying
Boogie wonderland, wonderland
Dance boogie wonderland
Dance boogie wonderland

Uh oh...

Uh oh... I'm in trouble! I have a test tomorrow and I'm having a really hard time caring at all. There was a lot going on today. Jayson and Matt's party! Spring Festival thing! Fun stuff! Jousting! Velcro wall! Cotton candy! Swing the hammer and hit the bell thing (i was soo close!!). Guys are so much stronger than girls. I was sooo close to ringing the bell the first time! Then i couldn't even get it 5 inches... sad. The guys could ring the bell with only a little bit of effort.

Ok... i guess i should read about BLUP and breeding strategies... Blah... Breeding and Genetics! only 3 more days of you! only 3 more days!

Good news! A vet might hire me. That would be soooo amazing!! It's a bit of a drive, but my mom works in WLR so we could eat lunch together. Oh I hope this works out!

Special hugs to my family, Myranda, Lisa, Megann, Amanda, Jeremy, Kian-cha!, and Mer-bear!

Jeremy and random guy 

Kaboom!!! 

Spanked... 

Take that!! 

Whack! 

velcroed to the wall 

velcro- wall 

Jack and Alex 

Matt! 

Myranda and I duke it out...she won 

My door! I made Myranda door decorations today. I hope she like them. ^_^ 

hmm... 

new profile pic for face book 

Rainy, rainy

It's a rainy old day...Hooray for friends.


"And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. "
- the prophet

flower power! 

Dog wood! 

ripples 

What's your choice?

I've been thinking a lot about what drives decision making – in general, not just what drives my decisions. Julia said people always choose according to their highest desire. That makes a great deal of sense. There’s constantly a battle between desires. Paul struggled with it too. I think it boils down to two desires: one self-seeking and the other God-seeking – what Paul refers to as the war between the law of God and the law of sin. So then the question I ask myself is not “why did I choose that?” but “what is my highest desire?” To please myself or to honor God? I know which one I want to choose! But I know that often times that is not the desire I act on…


“For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am fleshy, sold under sin. For that which I do, I do not own: for not what I will, this I do; but what I hate, this I practice. But if what I do not will, this I practice, I consent to the law that it is right. Now then it is no longer I that do it, but the sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me, that is, in my flesh, good does not dwell: for to will is there with me, but to do right I find not. For I do not practice the good that I will; but the evil I do not will, that I do. But if what I do not will, this I practice, it is no longer I that do it, but the sin that dwells in me. I find then the law upon me who will to practice what is right, that with me evil is there. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man: but I see another law in my members, warring in opposition to the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which exists in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me out of this body of death? I thank God, through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then I myself with the mind serve God’s law; but with the flesh sin’s law.”

Romans 7: 14-25 – Darby Translation - not sure why I chose Darby. You might try reading an easier to understand version.


Here's an actual update on my life...
Last night was a lot of fun. Megann, Jeremy, and I watched Narnia . Then Myranda joined us for a night of stargazing - a bit cold, but very nice just the same. Today, I sat outside and studied organic (yay! go me! pass! pass! pass!) and got a really wierd sunburn. I was in the shade! Oh well... I already have a lot of aloe. Then we went to barnes and noble where i was sorely tempted to buy multiple books ( namely blue like jazz as a gift for a friend... or Unveiled... a Francine Rivers book) but resisted all urges to spend money! Sister Act 2 and Singing in the Rain wrapped up the night... now it's early morning and very much my bed time. Love to my family. Love to my friends.

My handsome little brother and his very attractive date!!!! 

Whoa!!! Look at my brother! He looks all grown up!!! 

Slacker attack...

Eeeek! I've been such a slacker! .......must...... pass........organic........chemistry.............

mmm.... yummy pie! yummy pie! I made my first apple pie! OK... next time we'll brown the first crust and then add the filling. And less sugar and less apples.... we put in waaaayy to many apples. it spilled out everywhere. BUT IT WAS YUMMY!!!! 

Hooray! Thanks God!

I am officially the vice-president elect for the pre-vet club. Hooray! And I was choosen to be a Dale Bumper's College ambassador. Good day! Good day! And i'm completely FREEEEEE!!! I've decided I like being single. Nobody can hold me back from enjoying college to the fullest. Maybe someday I'll be ready for that, but certainly not now or next year it seems.

More Searching for God Knows What reflections - obedience

Recently I responded to something like this...

“That wouldn’t be appropriate.”

“Well, your parents wouldn’t hate you or kick you out or anything.”

"No, of course not.”

Why does it matter then?
I’ve thought a lot about obedience lately. The thing is I believe being a Christ follower is not just about obedience. I’m not sure if that communicates it… I obey not because of the consequences, but because I’m sure of Christ’s love for me, and I love Him. Why would I intentionally do something to hurt the only one who loves me completely? In a similar way, my parents love me dearly, and I love them. Therefore, I don’t want to do anything that would hurt them. The relational element is the important thing. Our lists of what Christians should and shouldn’t do miss the main point. What 2 commandments did Jesus say were most important? 1. Love God. 2. Love your neighbor. Love. Those are potentially the 2 most difficult commandments to understand. Don't Kill. Don't commit adultery. Sure. Those are straight forward and everyone knows exactly what they mean. But what does it mean to love? Love can't really be broken down into lists. For instance, try to list all the steps of falling in love...

1. Meet a guy (at least this is how it would start for me).
2. Get to know him
3. ... What would this step be? Fall in love and pray that he loves you? That doesn't really help with the list...

Love chooses to put what someone else wants about your own desires. Being a Christ follower isn't about following a certain set of guidelines or acknowledging certain facts or to be true (not that those aren't important at all... their just incomplete by themselves). It's about knowing and accepting the love of Christ and loving Him. Loving Christ with your entire heart makes you want to put what He wants above your own desires. You may have to sacrifice old habits, but if it makes Him happy... then it makes me happy. Love, love, love... that's what it's all about.

What does love look like?


"The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;

he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
Psalm 103: 8-12

Square up

Well, I worked up enough courage to go to the SFL dance by myself. The first 15 minutes were pretty uncomfortable... I was the only single person there. awkward. Luckily, Rachel showed up. Dances sometimes make me wish I wasn't single. But singleness is good...I'm so busy with my studies and school activities. It's time of personal spiritual development - time for me to rely on God for my satisfaction. I snuck off around 10. Then nothing happened for the rest of the night. I had peanut butter crackers, took a shower, and now i'm about to go to bed. Good night.

"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires."
Song of Songs 3:5

Square.... 

Red dress 

Yee haw 

Quidam!

Quidam: a nameless passer-by, a solitary figure lingering on a street corner, a person rushing past. One who cries out, sings and dreams within us all.

Your world is yours
not mine, Quidam.
Your dreams are yours.
You may have touched the stars,
but they weren't moved.
And if you reach for me,
I may not chooose
to hold your hand
I might smile
or I might turn away.

ESCAPE!

My retreat at Brooke's house was a much needed rest from dorm life. I want my own apartment where I can cook and clean (if the cleaning mood ever hits me). But I’m determined to end the year strong! Myranda and I are still good pals. She’s tired of dorm life too, so I have someone to talk to. I have a lot of fantastic friends whom I love and adore. My love goes out to Momo, Brooke, Megann, Lisa, Nae nae, Amanda, Kian-cha!, and Meredith-cha!, Chase, Jeremy, and Geoff. And all my Phi Lamb sisters! Life is good. College is an adventure – sometimes a roller coaster, but fun just the same.

Running Naked.

I’ve been reading Searching for God Knows What, by Donald Miller, and here’s what I’ve been thinking/learned in the book…

Humans are made to be relational.  

In the beginning, we were always in direct community with God…  I wonder how that must have been.  What would it be like to run around naked all day in a perfect garden knowing that Someone loved you completely, totally, 100%.   When Moses talked with God, Moses face became so radiant that he had to wear a veil…. What must have Adam and Eve looked like?  Glowing in God’s glory?  No wonder they felt naked after that relationship was broken.  Not that God loved them any less once they sinned… it’s just that what’s pure, holy, and perfect cannot mix with the foul sin of rebellion.  Suddenly they felt all alone because that direct communication was cut… what must that have been like?  I guess I can barely have a clue… I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to be so comfortable with anyone that I’d run around naked and it wouldn’t even bother me.  God knew every single little thing about Adam and Eve and they were completely comfortable with Him.   The fall must have been the most horribly depressing event… suddenly, you realize you messed up and you’re alone.  Completely alone.  That comforting and accepting presence is gone leaving an emptiness we’re still trying to fulfill.  I guess this is what relates to my life right now.  

My happiness is often centered on what others are thinking of me.  I think it’s like that for most people: unhappiness occurs when relationships are going south.  I’m happy when things are going well with others.  Sometimes, when I get so worked up with school and clubs, I start feeling lonely because I didn’t make time for God or my friends.  I guess what I’m really searching for is complete acceptance like what man had at the dawn of the age.  I want people to love me because I feel incomplete without love.  So now I’m learning to be content with God’s love, which is a million billion times better than anyone else’s in the entire world and completely pure.  That explains mankind’s emotions.  We’re searching for the relationship that was lost.  Fear, envy, jealousy, lust…The Holy Spirit enables us to have God in our hearts which is a step closer to be in perfect communion with God.  I guess heaven is that relationship with God, and Jesus is the key.  Hmm… random thoughts.  It’s all about relationships.  That’s why I’m so obsessed with them now.  Not sure any of that made sense…

Poof

I've decided to dissappear... don't try to find me. I'm not here.

All registered and stuff. 

Almost survived another week.

I got most of everything i needed to get done done. I survived the organic test with a weak B... a B is a %60. I'm really disappointed in myself. But, I'm going to read the next chapter this weekend and then have weekly study sessions with some of the people in my lab. So that will at least hold me accountable. It was hard readjusting to dorm life and the various social situations. I've got a bunch of odd relationships with people that confuse me.

Oh. and now there's a girl who hates me and another friend for no reason in the ANSC department. She slandered us to a teacher, who thankfully defended us. I know everyone in that department would defend me so i'm not too worried. It really hurts my feelings though. I tried so hard to be nice her. It takes so much of your energy to hate someone. I don't think it's worth the time. Being apathetic is the easiest thing to do. Loving people takes a lot of energy too, but it's definately worth the energy to treat people with love. So someone hates me...But what can I do? I'll just continue to treat her as if nothing happened - with the respect she deserves as a human being. And pray. And try not to let it bother me.

I am so blessed.



From the Prophet.....

And a youth said, "Speak to us of Friendship."

Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;

For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed