I've been thinking a lot about what drives decision making – in general, not just what drives my decisions. Julia said people always choose according to their highest desire. That makes a great deal of sense. There’s constantly a battle between desires. Paul struggled with it too. I think it boils down to two desires: one self-seeking and the other God-seeking – what Paul refers to as the war between the law of God and the law of sin. So then the question I ask myself is not “why did I choose that?” but “what is my highest desire?” To please myself or to honor God? I know which one I want to choose! But I know that often times that is not the desire I act on…
“For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am fleshy, sold under sin. For that which I do, I do not own: for not what I will, this I do; but what I hate, this I practice. But if what I do not will, this I practice, I consent to the law that it is right. Now then it is no longer I that do it, but the sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me, that is, in my flesh, good does not dwell: for to will is there with me, but to do right I find not. For I do not practice the good that I will; but the evil I do not will, that I do. But if what I do not will, this I practice, it is no longer I that do it, but the sin that dwells in me. I find then the law upon me who will to practice what is right, that with me evil is there. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man: but I see another law in my members, warring in opposition to the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which exists in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me out of this body of death? I thank God, through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then I myself with the mind serve God’s law; but with the flesh sin’s law.”
Romans 7: 14-25 – Darby Translation - not sure why I chose Darby. You might try reading an easier to understand version.
Here's an actual update on my life...
Last night was a lot of fun. Megann, Jeremy, and I watched Narnia . Then Myranda joined us for a night of stargazing - a bit cold, but very nice just the same. Today, I sat outside and studied organic (yay! go me! pass! pass! pass!) and got a really wierd sunburn. I was in the shade! Oh well... I already have a lot of aloe. Then we went to barnes and noble where i was sorely tempted to buy multiple books ( namely blue like jazz as a gift for a friend... or Unveiled... a Francine Rivers book) but resisted all urges to spend money! Sister Act 2 and Singing in the Rain wrapped up the night... now it's early morning and very much my bed time. Love to my family. Love to my friends.
Y'all, I'm too busy with crafts, painting, reading, or playing with my kids to keep an eye on dinner! Whoops!
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