Peace of Nature

 

Yesterday after work, we went to a local park and waded in the creek.  It was beautiful, hot day.  I love summer!  

My children loved splashing in the creek.  They loved even more discovering these crawfish!  I haven't had time to really sit down and identify the species, but they are cool all the same :)

Proverbs

This summer, I am working my way through the Proverbs.  These were written by King Solomon as guidance for his children and the young adults in his life.  I certainly could use some wisdom.   In each chapter of Proverbs, I'm working through these steps:

1. Pray first.  I pray that God will open my eyes and help me to gain and apply the wisdom.  
2. Content:
1. I summarize each verse or section of the chapter. (Google BSF homiletics)
2. I look for particular themes that I chose to focus on
1. Attributes of God
2. Success/Blessing vs Destruction
3. Fools/Scoffers - recognizing them by their behavior, responding to a fool
4. Money
5. Work
6. Marriage/Love
7. Worry/Stress/Fear vs. Peace
8. Family/Parenting
9. Heart/Mind
10. Words/Speech 
11. Sin/Evil
12. Wisdom/Knowledge
3. What is the overall principle? The purpose?  Write questions to apply.
4. What will I apply to my life? Specifically.
5. Pray again.

I am particularly interested in reading about fools.   The original Hebrew had many words for fools and each had a slightly different meaning.  However, I'm going to be looking at fool as a general term.  The answers I seek are... Are there people who truly are "fools?" How do I recognize them? How do I respond to them?  Is it even right to call them a fool?   

I suppose there have been difficult people around for all time.  I'm sure Solomon dealt with more than his fair share since he was a king.  I can think of a few people who have caused me frustration, anger, or pain because of poor choices/responses/behavior.  This is my quest to figure out how I should behave.    I'm also doing Internal Family Systems therapy during my therapy sessions.  It's quite interesting, but that's a subject  for another time....

Burnout, Therapy, and the Proverbs.

What a long time since my last post!  I haven't been doing much of anything except working and taking care of my toddlers!   My kids are 3 and almost 2...  My oldest son, Cheetah, is no longer in our home, but I still keep track of him.  He has been struggling, but his story is his own...and I will not share it here.  Regardless, prayers for him are always welcome.

6 years ago in May, I graduated veterinary school.  The first 2 years were brutal.  There were many times I thought I would just walk away from it completely.  It is a heavy burden to carry the weight of beloved pets' health.   Every single day.  I took it hard when owners didn't follow my recommendations, their pet declined, and then sometimes responded in anger toward me.  I emotionally handled work even worse when pets didn't respond to the "gold standard."   Since those first 2 years, I've learned to detach a little (and had 2 babies and an unknown number of foster children).  I'm learning to accept my limitations.  I'm not omniscient or omnipotent.  I can't always know the answers, and I certainly can't know the answers when recommendations for diagnostics are not followed.  There are clients who are just mean, demanding, unreasonable, and just plain ignorant but unwilling to learn.  There are clients who are amazing, kind, teachable, and appreciative.  The second type are the ones I stick around for... but how do I handle the first type?  I've also had a few HR conflicts at work, and it's really led to significant burnout.  Lately, the veterinary trade journals have been flooded with articles on compassion fatigue, burnout, and the general poor mental state of veterinarians.  It seems as if every month, I hear of one of my colleagues committing suicide.   Did you know that the rate of suicide among veterinarians is very high compared to the general population?  These are from an article in Veterinarian's Money Digest (which they got from a CDC study on veterinarian health):

• 6.8 percent of male and 10.9 percent of female veterinarians have serious psychological distress, compared with 3.5 percent and 4.4 percent of male and female adults, respectively, in the general population.
• 14 percent of male and 19 percent of female veterinarians have suicidal thoughts, three times that of the general U.S. population.
• 24.5 percent of male and 36.7 percent of female veterinarians have experienced depressive episodes since veterinary school graduation, about 1.5 times the prevalence among U.S. adults throughout their lifetime.
• 1.1 percent of male and 1.4 percent of female veterinarians have attempted suicide since veterinary school.

 I have never personally considered suicide, but I have experienced mental anguish so intense because of my job that for a moment...I understood why veterinarians commit suicide.   So what can I do to make it better?  What can I do to improve our profession?   I spent a lot of time thinking about this.   What is they say on the airplane?  Put on your own mask before assisting your neighbor.   So, I signed up for therapy.    But...the therapist had a 4 month wait list.... so I started studying the Proverbs and reading numerous books.  I'll try to blog a little more this year.  I have rare instances of my kids not needing constant attention...rare instances indeed.  Maybe my blog will help someone...maybe not, but at least it will be therapeutic for me.

The working mom's struggle

Yesterday was a busy day for my family.   I worked from 7:30am until about 5:30, with a 1 hour lunch break.  Chase had to take a sick day to stay home with our feverish baby.  Unfortunately that little sick toddler was asleep during my lunch break so I didn't get to see her.  I rushed home after work to start dinner.  I tried to balance the baby on one hip, talk to our teen about his day at school, and cook dinner all at the same time.  Chase went to go get ready in our room for CPR certification class.  The babysitter arrived right as the house started to fill with smoke.  I'm a pretty good vet, a loving mom, and an ok artist...but I'm a terrible chef!  I don't know how to cook with the cast iron skillet without filling my house with smoke.  I think maybe not rushing is the trick....but ain't nobody got time for that.   We got most of dinner on the table in time to go to our class, but the teen had to finish the mac and cheese.  We waved goodbye to the kids, and shoved our faces full of food on the way out the door.  Luckily this isn't our  babysitter's first rodeo with our kids so we didn't have to explain anything.

We arrived 10 minutes late to our CPR class, but we didn't miss anything.  About 30 minutes in, my cell phone starts going off.  Algebra crisis.  I texted the teen that he'd have to wait for us to get home...or try his luck with grandpa!  After calling Nanna, he decided to wait until we got home. 

Mom enough?

A blog post with only my phone...no access to a computer to type my blog posts.  

Fostering and New Life

Saturday was beautiful.  The temperature was in the 60s and the sun was shining down.  I was off from work, and it just felt so good.  We slept in until 9 (thank you MM!!).  I woke up feeling refreshed and energized so I decided to make my family a delicious breakfast.  I made MM a scrambled egg, and cut up some fruit.  She sat munching on breakfast while I made pancakes and omelets for the rest of my family.   I woke everyone else up and we stuffed ourselves to the brim.  "Here's something else you can make without burning!  You make a good omelet" said Cheetah.   Thanks, Cheetah!.....I think?   

MM was quickly ready for her nap, and we scrambled to clean the house while she slept.  We got through a lot of the list, but the day was just too beautiful to waste indoors.  So we all sat down for sandwiches and more fresh fruit.  We loaded up both cars with our 3 bicycles and drove to Walt's, where Chase and I bought our bikes.  We bought Cheetah a helmet and explained that it is ALWAYS required on a bicycle;  even Chase and I wear helmets.  At Walts, you can rent those cool baby trailers.  Luckily they still had one available.  They gave us a quick demo, and off we went.   It was already 3 pm by then, but we figured that would be plenty of time for 3 out of shape folks to be out exercising.  We ended up going 15 miles total, and the sun set on us before we got back!  Whoops!  MM loved the way out...but was not a happy camper on the way back!  We just stayed out a little too long.  BUT we had a great time!   Cheetah said it was an awesome day, and he just can't wait to do it again!  Time together away from the stress of school or work...and no computer screens!   It was wonderful!

We've been busy since Cheetah moved back in with us.   It's back to court dates, family visits, CASA visits, case worker visits,  therapy appointments, and all the other schedule-filling items involved with foster care.  MM has been sick with colds off an on for the last 3 weeks, and she's seen the doctor at least 2 times for high fevers.  Poor little Bear.  There have been algebra battles, discussions on bullying, and lots of "what ifs."     When you're in foster care...there are always lots of what ifs.     Chase and I are working to provide a loving and stable home for both of our kiddos.  We may be broke and in deeper student debt than you can imagine....but we are rich in love.  God's love has been great for our family, and we endeavor to show others His love.

My life is full of blessings.  As I watched my son ride his bike (with helmet) around the block while Chase pushed MM on her tricycle (also wearing a helmet), I felt a great sense of peace and contentment.   The peace you can only know when you hear God's call for your life...and feel that maybe today you are answering it.  Maybe this is what I am here on earth for...



It's kinda funny, life doesn't always take the path you expect for it to follow.   This year, after saying goodbye to Cheetah, we decided to drop out of all volunteering and fostering roles.  We wanted to add to our family, let Chase find a job outside of the home, and let our kids grow a couple of years.  Then we wanted to re-evaluate and maybe foster again...or maybe not.  However, only 1 part of that plan was successful!  We took 1 month off before Cheetah moved right back in with us.  Of course, we are also now expecting!   I never would have signed up for a toddler, teen, and infant all at the same time, but that's the unexpected turn. We are so very grateful for baby number 2 and of course that we were here for Cheetah when he needed us.  I don't know what else the future holds, but I am sure God's hand is in it :)

Glimmers of Joyful life

last week:

I sat waiting in Big-O tires.  MM played with some toys on the floor and started cruising around the coffee table.  She looked up from the table toward me, and extended her little arms.  She took 3 tentative steps toward me and collapsed in my outstretched arms.  We both were smiling and giggling!  Her first real steps were in a tire store!  As we played and giggled, a young man approached us.  He was not smiling. “Hey, would you buy this gift card from me?  It’s got $200 on it, and I’m asking $150.”  Thinking it was a scam, I told him he should save it as car troubles can spring up in the future even if he doesn’t need it now.   He told me his license had been taken because of a DUI, and he needed money to pay the court expenses.  I felt a little sorry for him so I talked to him about forgiveness.  There is life after a big mistake, and he will be ok!   He walked away, and returned again in a few seconds.  “How about $100?”  I thought that it could be a scam, but this poor kid needed the money more than I.  So I agreed.  As soon as he left, I checked the balance with a clerk.  Sure enough $200!  I was so excited.   I met an honest young man, hopefully encouraged him a little, and got a $100 discount on new tires for my car.     I realize I could have checked it before I purchased it, but sometimes a person needs to be shown a little trust as encouragement to become trustworthy.   Or maybe I’m just too trusting and gullible, but it paid off!  Lol… of course the estimate for yet more repairs on the HHR put a small damper on my enthusiasm, but that’s life! 

When I got home, Peggy refused to go down for nap.  She was wired!  Maybe she was thinking about how to walk!  Who knows the mind of a baby…  Cheetah arrived home from school, and he wanted to help teach MM to walk.  We sat with a few feet between us and encouraged MM to walk from one set of arms to the other.   Her improvement was evident with every step!  I bet she will be running by her first birthday.  Cheetah smiled and said “she’s grown so much since I moved in.  It’s so much fun to see her grow!  When I first got here, she couldn’t even crawl.”  Peggy has been saying “Chachacha,” and Chase thinks she might be trying to say Cheetah’s name.  That little squirt loves her big brother, and he clearly loves her too.   Every child needs a loving home, and I’m so blessed to have 2 children laughing and playing in my home!

Peace and love, y’all!

Some Memories...

Days Ago

I was happily snapping pictures of my family relaxing around the Christmas tree while I was trying to figure out more advanced settings on my new camera. Cheetah asked me what happened to the old one. I explained that the baby broke the lens so it doesn't attach well to the camera. He replied "I'm really good at fixing things. Can I take a look?" So he taped the 18-55mm lens on to the old Nikon D40 and started happily taking pictures of everything. I watched him for a few minutes...then asked "would you like that camera?" His eyes lit up for a minute...then he said "No, no. I couldn't take this." So I insisted. Then I got all the gear that went with it and explained the function of each. He got a Nikon D40, 18-55mm (sorta broken) lens, 55-200mm lens, battery charger, and a bag. He was SO HAPPY! "Now I can take nice portraits of my family when we get back together!!" I can't think of a better way to give my old camera..my very first dslr...new life. I hope he'll get many years of happy pictures of his friends and family

Cheetah was talking to his momma on the computer earlier this week and saw me walk by. He said "hey Katie! Can we do the ornament now?" I handed him today's ornament, waved at his mom on the screen and said hello, and then handed him the little devotional that goes along with yesterday's ornament. Both of us smiled while he shared the fall of Adam and Eve, and God's promise to redeem mankind. It was a moment of shared parenting - 2 sets of parents working together for the good of a child. He asked if he could continue the tradition at his house, and his momma of course said yes.

Weeks ago:

It had been a hard day at work.  I cried with owners as we said goodbye to pets and patients.  For whatever reason…I had multiple euthanasias that day, and even more over the previous week.  I was exhausted and sad.  Then I got this text message: “wat can I do to make your day better? So you don’t cry?” I replied “You just did.” 

Months ago:

 Cheetah worked up the courage to try to rock MM to sleep.  Chase gently placed her in his arms, and they settled into the rocking recliner.  MM fussed as she always does, but he persisted.  Soon my little baby was snuggled up with my teenage boy.  He had a huge grin on his face because he was so proud of himself.  Seeing them together made my heart melt into a mushy puddle. Since then, MM has adored Cheetah.  She picked up some of his dance moves (whip and naenae), and crawl-chased him around the living room.  She looks for him when he hides behind a wall or under a blanket.  He tells me he really wants a baby someday…but only 1! Since multiple kids are hard to handle! I think MM will miss him when he leaves our doors.  

Look for the Helpers, Glimmers of light in the Darkness.

Christmas Bells

-Longfellow

    I HEARD the bells on Christmas Day

    Their old, familiar carols play,

        And wild and sweet

        The words repeat

    Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

    And thought how, as the day had come,

    The belfries of all Christendom

        Had rolled along

        The unbroken song

    Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till ringing, singing on its way,

    The world revolved from night to day,

        A voice, a chime,

        A chant sublime

    Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Lately, the world has felt like a dark place full of suffering, hate, bigotry, and death.   The morning news is full of lives ended in violence – lights snuffed out before their time.   My heart is broken.  Then stories of suffering refugees, abused children, and fear of terrorist bombards my Facebook feed.  It’s getting hard to look at it, but I feel guilty to turn my head…but what can I do?

And in despair I bowed my head;

    "There is no peace on earth," I said;

        "For hate is strong,

        And mocks the song

    Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

The only thing I can do is share the light in the darkness by loving others, opening my heart, my arms, and my home to the suffering.   Perhaps by living this way…we can make a positive impact.  Perhaps God can work through us.  Hopefully I can be one of the helpers Mr. Roger’s spoke about.

 "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world."  Mr. Rogers (www.fredrogers.org)

God has not abandoned this world.  He is present and still at work.  He moves in my heart, and he moves in all hearts.  In all humankind, there are glimmers of a kinder spirit – a more loving world.  You just have to look to see them.  

    Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:

    "God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;

        The Wrong shall fail,

        The Right prevail,

    With peace on earth, good-will to men."

The Widows and Orphans, Abortion

My thoughts have trended toward the rights of children lately.   I had a horrible dream a few months ago about child sacrifice.  The people in my dream placed no value on the tiny infant…no more than an animal slaughtered for meat.  I was horrified, and woke up to snuggle with my own precious little baby.  Just recently, I had another terrible dream.  This time I had accompanied a woman to an abortion clinic, where she had a late term abortion.  The tiny baby was still alive, and they handed her to me.  As I stared at the tiny baby, I knew I couldn’t let her die.  They were going to finish killing the baby, but I took the baby and ran.  I was running to get her to a NICU so she could be saved.   The nurses and abortion doctor were chasing me to try to kill the infant.  I kept running until I came up to a parade.  Ironically, there was a group of pro-life activist motorcyclists in the parade.  So one biker gave me and the baby a ride to the hospital.   I woke up before we arrived.   Perhaps these dreams have arrived in light of my own concerns over MM’s health (she’s fine and healthy…but moms always worry a little), and also the media coverage of Planned Parenthood.  Maybe these dreams have also been coming because MM's personality and individuality are growing more distinct.  I frequently look at her in wonder that this rapidly changing little human being that started out as tiny little cells that grew...and grew!  Babies and children are truly amazing - fearfully and wonderfully made.

 I don’t often weigh in on issues like abortion because…quite frankly they confuse me.    What are a woman’s rights? What are the baby’s rights?   I’ve heard people ask me…how could I (or anyone) ask a woman to give up her body and raise a child she doesn’t want?  They say that child will be unloved and unwanted…and possibly enter foster care or be adopted.  What could be worse than children that are unloved and bounce in and out of foster care?  As a foster parent, we are that home, and we’ve met a ton of other people who also provide homes.   Almost all of the foster and adoptive parents we've met are amazing people.  They are warm, loving, and patient.  They pour their hearts and souls into “unwanted” children.   When we attend the local support group for other parents like us…I hear their anguish…their love and worry over these children.  As foster parents, we strive to teach children what a stable, loving home feels like.  We read them bible stories and pray for them.  At the same time, we often love and support their parents and try to encourage them to stick with the plan to get their children back..even when that means the child we love will leave us.   It’s so hard to both love the child and the struggling parents.  We love the children placed in our home like our own, and it crushes my soul when I say goodbye to send them home.  I remember all of their faces…all of their stories. 

So when someone asks me what I think about abortion, I reply that I am pro-choice.  I am striving to actually offer a choice to mothers.   Maybe I am wrong, but I don’t think most women get abortions because they feel they have a choice.  I think many of them feel like they don’t have a choice.  They feel that poverty or circumstance dictate they cannot care for their child…and they have no choice but to terminate a pregnancy.  

My approach is to try to inspire others to become adoptive parents…become foster parents.  Let’s give the world a real choice!  If enough homes opened their doors to truly love the “unwanted” children AND the mothers, what a difference we could make!  Yes…being a foster parent is hard, but being a parent at all is hard!  Parenthood in all its forms is such worthwhile endeavor.   It’s also something bible compels us to do (James 1:27 for example).   I will not be the one to cast stones.  I will not be the one sitting on the judgment seat.  Instead, I want to love mothers facing hard circumstances.  I want to open my home to their children so they feel they do have a choice.   

With all that being said...I do fear judgment.  Not man's judgment, but God's.   Will my nation, my friends, my family, me be judged for our apathy?  Will we get to God's judgment seat and be asked..."Why did you turn a blind eye to injustice? Why did you merely watch while children were killed? Why did you not love and care for the widows, the orphans, the single parents?"  That's not at all what I want to hear when I get to heaven...I want my God to say "Well done, good and faithful servant."  I really don't know what that means for me and what I'm called to do, but I know I'm not the Judge.  I will do what I can for children and families with love.  I will fight injustice and apathy with love, prayer, personal sacrifice, and elbow grease.

Peace and Love, y'all! 

Mm, family photos, respite

Mary and #14 snuggling.  #14 loved Mary.  He wanted to hold her as much as I would let him.

A couple weekends ago, we picked up 2 more foster children for respite (children #14 and 15,I believe), and Cheetah embarked on a 1 week journey with the church youth group, and .   We briefly had all 3 foster children plus Mary at one time.  Haha!  We had to borrow a car just to be able to drive our whole family around!  Eventually Chase and I are planning on buying a second vehicle, but for right now we are sharing 1 car (5 person capacity).  We are trying to handle our finances Dave Ramsey-style, but it's very challenging!  It would be so much easier with 2 cars now instead of saving and waiting to buy one... 

One of my favorite pictures from Tiger Paw Photography

To help out our finances, I sell cards made from my artwork.  I put aside money for these sales for fun and family stuff.  I saved up enough for a family photo shoot, and I'm very excited about the pictures.  Since Cheetah was out of town during this shoot, we scheduled a mini-shoot for September to include him in our family pictures.   He was surprised to hear we wanted him to be a part of family pictures.  I actually thought about this very thing, and decided that our family pictures will be of our family how it exists at that moment.  That is obviously going to vary.  It's a challenge to both make foster children part of your family, while remembering they are part of another family.  They are mine, but they are not mine.  I am raising another mother's pride and joy.  I must never forget that.  Just as I held Mary for the first time, and my heart overflowed with wonder and love...I'm sure my foster child's mother felt the same way at some point.

My planner this week has a little help from some minions.

In other news, I joined another creative endeavor.  Since I don't have a computer, and I have a 7 month old baby...I don't have much time for scrapbooking!  My good friend, Jen Wright Designs just opened a sticker shop on Etsy.   She makes stickers to put in your planner.  I love planners, and I love stickers!  So I can't wait to combine the two loves for a prettier planner :) 

Here's a link to the sticker shop:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/theeverydayplanner

Life with Cheetah

Cheetah (foster child #13 to pass through our doors) joined our house last week.  What's life been like with a teenager and an infant?  Busy to say the least.  Chase has been driving the kids around for lessons, meetings with social workers, meetings with biological family, and more.  Cheetah is potentially the most well-behaved teenager I've ever met.  Granted we are probably in the "honeymoon phase" of foster parenting, but his behavior and attitude has been top-notch.  He's quick to help around the house, and completes any task asked of him with alacrity....as long as you don't ask him to read a book!  We've enrolled both children in swimming lessons.  MM just flails and tries to cling to whichever parent is attending lessons with her.  She has at least learned to hold her breath after I blow on her face.   Cheetah has never had formal swimming lessons, but is able to tread water.  He got placed with younger kids (8 years old), and he was less than thrilled about it. Hopefully he'll be able to progress quickly!

We started an allowance system with him that was very unique.  When I told other parents about it, they thought it was rather strange.   Cheetah can earn up to $15 a week by completing tasks allotted for a certain amount of money.   I had almost 100 tasks, and almost all of them were geared toward getting to have fun with our family.  Some examples of $1 tasks...

• Go for a hike
• Eat with us at your favorite restaurant
• Share a playlist of your favorite music
• Beat Katie at a board game
• Write letters to your siblings

Some of the tasks focused on getting involved with church, engaging in charitable/compassionate endeavors,  reaching out to his family, learning how to function as an adult, and improving literacy.   The educational tasks were worth $2 and can be repeated.  The fun stuff only counted once.   Needless to say, he loved his list!  He's started keeping a bird list, wrote cards to all of his siblings, cooked dinner, cooked breakfast, beaten me at 2 games (and played many more), enjoyed fireworks with us, and more.  It's been a great way to break the ice so to speak.

MM recently turned 6 months old!  Where did the time go?  She is rolling all over the house and can very slowly army-crawl.   She's also got a tooth!  It poked through just a few days ago!   She eats rice cereal, apples, bananas, peas, green beans, broccoli, pears, prunes, carrots, and squash! 

We're Expecting!

Our household population is changing again.  We are expecting yet another child!  He’s a young teenager.  We met him only briefly for an hour or two over the weekend, but we’ve been told he’s just a very sweet young man…

Over the last 3 years, we’ve had only 2 other long term placements (3 years ago), 1 emergency placement, and 9 “respite” cases.   This will be our first long term placement in quite some time!  Needless to say, we are nervous.  Are we up to the task of raising a teenager along with our baby? Are we crazy to take in a teenager?  Of course, we aren’t ready…and yes…we are probably crazy.

Let brotherly love continue.  Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares Hebrews 13: 1 & 2

We felt God’s call upon our hearts to say yes to this young man, and we will rely on His wisdom and providence to care for him.  I’m sure God will use the extensive network of friends and family to help share this wisdom.   

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. - Proverbs 11:14  

Chase and I worked over the weekend to prepare our home for our new visitor: knives locked away, the dog’s medicines locked in our safe, floors vacuumed, chinchilla cage cleaned, my sewing put away…  Then on Saturday morning, we went to the group home he was staying at to take him to an Independence Day picnic.  We got out of the car, and went from locked door to locked door looking for a doorbell or sign on how to get in contact with the people within.   Finally we found a door with a doorbell.  We waited patiently as one of the house parents came to the door.  We signed the required paperwork to take him out of the home.   The parents expressed their sadness that he would be moving away.   The group home is only meant to be a temporary shelter for foster children, and this kiddo had been there for a few months already.   A few children came out to curiously peer at us.   Then finally a young man cam out.  We introduced ourselves, and I could tell how incredibly nervous he was to meet us.  I can’t imagine what that must feel like:  meeting your future foster parents for the first time.  At least this time, he first met us in a familiar location.

The drive to the picnic was a little…tense and awkward.  He didn’t really volunteer any information, but I did manage to find out he didn’t like fish…or chocolate.  He liked football and maybe hiking.  I told him about his room at our house and our family.  He seemed excited to have a room all to himself.

He barely spoke at the picnic, and we didn’t press him too much.  Ironically, one of his former gym teachers was there and happy to see him.  We introduced him as our friend who would be staying with us for awhile.  The teacher looked at us quizzically.  When we run into people that knew a foster child before they entered care, we always receive that look of curiosity.  However, this boy’s story is his own.  We won’t share why he entered care or any details – only that he is currently staying with us.  We were grateful that he knew at least one other person.  He sat wherever we directed him and didn’t want a plate.  No, he hadn’t eaten lunch yet…but no…he didn’t want a plate.  Honestly, I think he was just too shy.  We decided not to keep him there too long since he seemed so uncomfortable.  Our gracious host asked if he would like a plate to go, and he gladly accepted.  She piled a plate with more food than he can eat with an extra plate with every dessert and covered the plates with foil.  Chase took him back to the children’s shelter.  We will pick him up for good on Monday.  How long will he stay? We don't know, but it's in God's hands.

Elise, with the clothes on her back, iBelong

It was 11:00pm.  I had been trying to get MM to sleep for the last hour, and we were both somewhat cranky.   I decided to get up and ask Chase to rock the baby to sleep, and get a head start on sleep while he took his MM shift.    No sooner had I nestled under the covers and shut my eyes than the phone rang.   A phone call that late at night could only mean a few things…either a medical emergency (either with my friends/family or with a furry patient) or a child that needs our help.  This time, it was a child.  She was 12 years old.  She needed a place to stay that night.   Too sleepy to make a decision, I handed the phone to Chase.  After a few minutes of discussion, I heard him say “Sure.  We will take her.”  So we sat the (very awake, very playful) MM down under her mobile, and rushed to get the house prepared.  Knives locked away, fire escape plan posted, Ruby’s dog medicine locked up with the other meds, dishes cleaned, and the Gary-barricades put away.  Gary was clumsy so we barricaded him out of the common area so he didn’t step on or wake up the baby.  This, however, made our house look like a maze of laundry baskets.   Crazy-cleaning frenzy subsided; we sat down to think about what we just signed up for.  No idea.  Will she be afraid of the dogs?  Will she be good with MM? Will she be too scared to sleep tonight?  Is she injured?  What is she like?  Will she have any behaviors that will put MM at risk?  Are we making the right decision?  Chase felt strongly called to say yes to help this little one.   We wondered what her story would be…

Within 20 minutes, a social worker arrived at our door with a shy, preteen girl trailing behind her.  The young girl looked up nervously and smiled brightly at us.   The social worker introduced us.   “....this is Chase and Katie.  They will be taking care of you until court on Monday.”   I noticed the girl had a McDonald’s cup in one hand, but wasn’t carrying sack of clothing or cosmetics. I promptly introduced MM, who was wide-awake and smiling.  “Oh!  What a cute baby!  And I’m not just saying that because she’s your baby.  She’s really cute!  I love those chubby cheeks!  Oh! She’s smiling at me! I LOVE BABIES!! Oh you have a piano!! Will I be able to play on the piano? My brother taught me some songs, but I can’t read music!”  She was full of excited energy, and seemingly happy to be with us.  I decided to give “Elise” (for Fur Elise, a tune she immediately picked out on the piano) the tour of our house.  She loved the chinchillas, loved the dogs, loved her bedroom “Who’s bedroom was this before me?” I explained that we keep it ready for any guests or children.  She told me she wanted to be a veterinarian or something to do with small children.   She was very excited to find out I was a veterinarian.   I showed her the bathroom that will be her bathroom.  “OH…I can’t take a shower…I only have this one outfit.”  I told her we will buy her a set of clothes for her stay so she can wear clean clothing.  “Oh I have TONS of outfits…just not with me.  You don’t have to get me anything.”  I explained if we can’t get her clothing from home, I really looked forward to taking her shopping!   We told her she will at least need 1 extra outfit, pjs, underthings, and cosmetics.  The case worker told us court was scheduled for the upcoming Monday, and things look promising she will go to a different family member following court.  While I showed Elise around, the case worker filled Chase in on as much as she knew about this little one.  Elise gave the case worker a huge hug, and told me “she’s like a good friend to me!” 

 This little family of 4 sat on the couch for a few minutes just talking and getting acquainted.  Here’s what we learned (at least while I was awake)…

•  She loved children and animals
• She loved old things – like Chase’s pottery shards
• She loved babies – especially MM.  We let her hold MM for a few minutes.  MM smiled and touched her face.
• She wanted to be a veterinarian
• She was a self-proclaimed nerd, because she’s good at math.  Her nerd-dom is unintentional.
•  No, she doesn’t want to watch Star Trek because that would make her even more nerdy. 
• She says she's not a Christian, but believes Jesus is the savior and son of God.

MM started to fuss, so I took her to bed.  I think Elise and Chase stayed up until 2 am talking.  We don’t usually let children stay up that late, but we didn’t think it was reasonable to send this kiddo straight to bed without talking to her new foster parents.  It’s hard enough being taken from your home and placed in a stranger’s home.  Chase told me they talked about Revelations, religion, pottery, her family, and whatever else this cute little chatter box had to say.  She was very curious to what religion we follow, and Chase shared a little of our beliefs.  Chase also said she got a mini-guitar lesson last night. 

I left for work bright and early Saturday morning.  It’s my Saturday to take care of the sick animals and appointments until the afternoon.  Elise had just woken up and was chattering to me about the morning news and how she was a morning person.  I walked back to the nursery to say goodbye to Chase, and as I left Elise was standing in our doorway chattering at Chase.  I say “at Chase” because he was still mostly still asleep.  I’m not sure what the rest of today will bring, but I love this little child already.  She reminds me of my sister-in-law when she was 12. 

I’m hoping to take Elise shopping today.  She arrived with only the clothes on her back.  This is unfortunately how many foster children enter care.  Alone, frightened…with very little of their own belongings. 

What can you do?

If you want to help foster children, but don’t feel called to be foster parents…you can still help.  One way to do this is to provide a bag to foster children.  The Columbia Adoption project has put together “ibelong” backpacks to give to foster children.  We didn’t actually get a backpack for this kiddo, but we will make sure she is prepared for the next part of her story.  I plan on buying her 1 outfit, 1 set of PJs, whatever undergarments she needs, small thing of cosmetics, bible, and a journal.  I'll let you know how our shopping trip went later :)

http://www.comoadoption.com/make-a-difference (link for the backpacks)

Peace and love, y'all.  Hopefully someone out there will decide to help a foster child.  They need your love...your kindness...your support.