Mm, family photos, respite

Mary and #14 snuggling.  #14 loved Mary.  He wanted to hold her as much as I would let him.

A couple weekends ago, we picked up 2 more foster children for respite (children #14 and 15,I believe), and Cheetah embarked on a 1 week journey with the church youth group, and .   We briefly had all 3 foster children plus Mary at one time.  Haha!  We had to borrow a car just to be able to drive our whole family around!  Eventually Chase and I are planning on buying a second vehicle, but for right now we are sharing 1 car (5 person capacity).  We are trying to handle our finances Dave Ramsey-style, but it's very challenging!  It would be so much easier with 2 cars now instead of saving and waiting to buy one... 

One of my favorite pictures from Tiger Paw Photography

To help out our finances, I sell cards made from my artwork.  I put aside money for these sales for fun and family stuff.  I saved up enough for a family photo shoot, and I'm very excited about the pictures.  Since Cheetah was out of town during this shoot, we scheduled a mini-shoot for September to include him in our family pictures.   He was surprised to hear we wanted him to be a part of family pictures.  I actually thought about this very thing, and decided that our family pictures will be of our family how it exists at that moment.  That is obviously going to vary.  It's a challenge to both make foster children part of your family, while remembering they are part of another family.  They are mine, but they are not mine.  I am raising another mother's pride and joy.  I must never forget that.  Just as I held Mary for the first time, and my heart overflowed with wonder and love...I'm sure my foster child's mother felt the same way at some point.

My planner this week has a little help from some minions.

In other news, I joined another creative endeavor.  Since I don't have a computer, and I have a 7 month old baby...I don't have much time for scrapbooking!  My good friend, Jen Wright Designs just opened a sticker shop on Etsy.   She makes stickers to put in your planner.  I love planners, and I love stickers!  So I can't wait to combine the two loves for a prettier planner :) 

Here's a link to the sticker shop:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/theeverydayplanner

Life with Cheetah

Cheetah (foster child #13 to pass through our doors) joined our house last week.  What's life been like with a teenager and an infant?  Busy to say the least.  Chase has been driving the kids around for lessons, meetings with social workers, meetings with biological family, and more.  Cheetah is potentially the most well-behaved teenager I've ever met.  Granted we are probably in the "honeymoon phase" of foster parenting, but his behavior and attitude has been top-notch.  He's quick to help around the house, and completes any task asked of him with alacrity....as long as you don't ask him to read a book!  We've enrolled both children in swimming lessons.  MM just flails and tries to cling to whichever parent is attending lessons with her.  She has at least learned to hold her breath after I blow on her face.   Cheetah has never had formal swimming lessons, but is able to tread water.  He got placed with younger kids (8 years old), and he was less than thrilled about it. Hopefully he'll be able to progress quickly!

We started an allowance system with him that was very unique.  When I told other parents about it, they thought it was rather strange.   Cheetah can earn up to $15 a week by completing tasks allotted for a certain amount of money.   I had almost 100 tasks, and almost all of them were geared toward getting to have fun with our family.  Some examples of $1 tasks...

• Go for a hike
• Eat with us at your favorite restaurant
• Share a playlist of your favorite music
• Beat Katie at a board game
• Write letters to your siblings

Some of the tasks focused on getting involved with church, engaging in charitable/compassionate endeavors,  reaching out to his family, learning how to function as an adult, and improving literacy.   The educational tasks were worth $2 and can be repeated.  The fun stuff only counted once.   Needless to say, he loved his list!  He's started keeping a bird list, wrote cards to all of his siblings, cooked dinner, cooked breakfast, beaten me at 2 games (and played many more), enjoyed fireworks with us, and more.  It's been a great way to break the ice so to speak.

MM recently turned 6 months old!  Where did the time go?  She is rolling all over the house and can very slowly army-crawl.   She's also got a tooth!  It poked through just a few days ago!   She eats rice cereal, apples, bananas, peas, green beans, broccoli, pears, prunes, carrots, and squash! 

We're Expecting!

Our household population is changing again.  We are expecting yet another child!  He’s a young teenager.  We met him only briefly for an hour or two over the weekend, but we’ve been told he’s just a very sweet young man…

Over the last 3 years, we’ve had only 2 other long term placements (3 years ago), 1 emergency placement, and 9 “respite” cases.   This will be our first long term placement in quite some time!  Needless to say, we are nervous.  Are we up to the task of raising a teenager along with our baby? Are we crazy to take in a teenager?  Of course, we aren’t ready…and yes…we are probably crazy.

Let brotherly love continue.  Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares Hebrews 13: 1 & 2

We felt God’s call upon our hearts to say yes to this young man, and we will rely on His wisdom and providence to care for him.  I’m sure God will use the extensive network of friends and family to help share this wisdom.   

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. - Proverbs 11:14  

Chase and I worked over the weekend to prepare our home for our new visitor: knives locked away, the dog’s medicines locked in our safe, floors vacuumed, chinchilla cage cleaned, my sewing put away…  Then on Saturday morning, we went to the group home he was staying at to take him to an Independence Day picnic.  We got out of the car, and went from locked door to locked door looking for a doorbell or sign on how to get in contact with the people within.   Finally we found a door with a doorbell.  We waited patiently as one of the house parents came to the door.  We signed the required paperwork to take him out of the home.   The parents expressed their sadness that he would be moving away.   The group home is only meant to be a temporary shelter for foster children, and this kiddo had been there for a few months already.   A few children came out to curiously peer at us.   Then finally a young man cam out.  We introduced ourselves, and I could tell how incredibly nervous he was to meet us.  I can’t imagine what that must feel like:  meeting your future foster parents for the first time.  At least this time, he first met us in a familiar location.

The drive to the picnic was a little…tense and awkward.  He didn’t really volunteer any information, but I did manage to find out he didn’t like fish…or chocolate.  He liked football and maybe hiking.  I told him about his room at our house and our family.  He seemed excited to have a room all to himself.

He barely spoke at the picnic, and we didn’t press him too much.  Ironically, one of his former gym teachers was there and happy to see him.  We introduced him as our friend who would be staying with us for awhile.  The teacher looked at us quizzically.  When we run into people that knew a foster child before they entered care, we always receive that look of curiosity.  However, this boy’s story is his own.  We won’t share why he entered care or any details – only that he is currently staying with us.  We were grateful that he knew at least one other person.  He sat wherever we directed him and didn’t want a plate.  No, he hadn’t eaten lunch yet…but no…he didn’t want a plate.  Honestly, I think he was just too shy.  We decided not to keep him there too long since he seemed so uncomfortable.  Our gracious host asked if he would like a plate to go, and he gladly accepted.  She piled a plate with more food than he can eat with an extra plate with every dessert and covered the plates with foil.  Chase took him back to the children’s shelter.  We will pick him up for good on Monday.  How long will he stay? We don't know, but it's in God's hands.

Elise, with the clothes on her back, iBelong

It was 11:00pm.  I had been trying to get MM to sleep for the last hour, and we were both somewhat cranky.   I decided to get up and ask Chase to rock the baby to sleep, and get a head start on sleep while he took his MM shift.    No sooner had I nestled under the covers and shut my eyes than the phone rang.   A phone call that late at night could only mean a few things…either a medical emergency (either with my friends/family or with a furry patient) or a child that needs our help.  This time, it was a child.  She was 12 years old.  She needed a place to stay that night.   Too sleepy to make a decision, I handed the phone to Chase.  After a few minutes of discussion, I heard him say “Sure.  We will take her.”  So we sat the (very awake, very playful) MM down under her mobile, and rushed to get the house prepared.  Knives locked away, fire escape plan posted, Ruby’s dog medicine locked up with the other meds, dishes cleaned, and the Gary-barricades put away.  Gary was clumsy so we barricaded him out of the common area so he didn’t step on or wake up the baby.  This, however, made our house look like a maze of laundry baskets.   Crazy-cleaning frenzy subsided; we sat down to think about what we just signed up for.  No idea.  Will she be afraid of the dogs?  Will she be good with MM? Will she be too scared to sleep tonight?  Is she injured?  What is she like?  Will she have any behaviors that will put MM at risk?  Are we making the right decision?  Chase felt strongly called to say yes to help this little one.   We wondered what her story would be…

Within 20 minutes, a social worker arrived at our door with a shy, preteen girl trailing behind her.  The young girl looked up nervously and smiled brightly at us.   The social worker introduced us.   “....this is Chase and Katie.  They will be taking care of you until court on Monday.”   I noticed the girl had a McDonald’s cup in one hand, but wasn’t carrying sack of clothing or cosmetics. I promptly introduced MM, who was wide-awake and smiling.  “Oh!  What a cute baby!  And I’m not just saying that because she’s your baby.  She’s really cute!  I love those chubby cheeks!  Oh! She’s smiling at me! I LOVE BABIES!! Oh you have a piano!! Will I be able to play on the piano? My brother taught me some songs, but I can’t read music!”  She was full of excited energy, and seemingly happy to be with us.  I decided to give “Elise” (for Fur Elise, a tune she immediately picked out on the piano) the tour of our house.  She loved the chinchillas, loved the dogs, loved her bedroom “Who’s bedroom was this before me?” I explained that we keep it ready for any guests or children.  She told me she wanted to be a veterinarian or something to do with small children.   She was very excited to find out I was a veterinarian.   I showed her the bathroom that will be her bathroom.  “OH…I can’t take a shower…I only have this one outfit.”  I told her we will buy her a set of clothes for her stay so she can wear clean clothing.  “Oh I have TONS of outfits…just not with me.  You don’t have to get me anything.”  I explained if we can’t get her clothing from home, I really looked forward to taking her shopping!   We told her she will at least need 1 extra outfit, pjs, underthings, and cosmetics.  The case worker told us court was scheduled for the upcoming Monday, and things look promising she will go to a different family member following court.  While I showed Elise around, the case worker filled Chase in on as much as she knew about this little one.  Elise gave the case worker a huge hug, and told me “she’s like a good friend to me!” 

 This little family of 4 sat on the couch for a few minutes just talking and getting acquainted.  Here’s what we learned (at least while I was awake)…

•  She loved children and animals
• She loved old things – like Chase’s pottery shards
• She loved babies – especially MM.  We let her hold MM for a few minutes.  MM smiled and touched her face.
• She wanted to be a veterinarian
• She was a self-proclaimed nerd, because she’s good at math.  Her nerd-dom is unintentional.
•  No, she doesn’t want to watch Star Trek because that would make her even more nerdy. 
• She says she's not a Christian, but believes Jesus is the savior and son of God.

MM started to fuss, so I took her to bed.  I think Elise and Chase stayed up until 2 am talking.  We don’t usually let children stay up that late, but we didn’t think it was reasonable to send this kiddo straight to bed without talking to her new foster parents.  It’s hard enough being taken from your home and placed in a stranger’s home.  Chase told me they talked about Revelations, religion, pottery, her family, and whatever else this cute little chatter box had to say.  She was very curious to what religion we follow, and Chase shared a little of our beliefs.  Chase also said she got a mini-guitar lesson last night. 

I left for work bright and early Saturday morning.  It’s my Saturday to take care of the sick animals and appointments until the afternoon.  Elise had just woken up and was chattering to me about the morning news and how she was a morning person.  I walked back to the nursery to say goodbye to Chase, and as I left Elise was standing in our doorway chattering at Chase.  I say “at Chase” because he was still mostly still asleep.  I’m not sure what the rest of today will bring, but I love this little child already.  She reminds me of my sister-in-law when she was 12. 

I’m hoping to take Elise shopping today.  She arrived with only the clothes on her back.  This is unfortunately how many foster children enter care.  Alone, frightened…with very little of their own belongings. 

What can you do?

If you want to help foster children, but don’t feel called to be foster parents…you can still help.  One way to do this is to provide a bag to foster children.  The Columbia Adoption project has put together “ibelong” backpacks to give to foster children.  We didn’t actually get a backpack for this kiddo, but we will make sure she is prepared for the next part of her story.  I plan on buying her 1 outfit, 1 set of PJs, whatever undergarments she needs, small thing of cosmetics, bible, and a journal.  I'll let you know how our shopping trip went later :)

http://www.comoadoption.com/make-a-difference (link for the backpacks)

Peace and love, y'all.  Hopefully someone out there will decide to help a foster child.  They need your love...your kindness...your support.   

The Use of Psychotropic Medications in Foster Children

There's one thing I'v been pondering quite a bit over the last few days, and that's the use of behavior altering medications in children in foster care.  These children have all been through some sort of trauma, and sometimes that leads to troublesome (for adults) behavior.  I know quite a few of the foster children I've done respite for are on some sort of medication for ADHD.   Actually 5 out of 10 of the boys we've had are now on meds.  One little boy in particular has been on my mind.  He was almost sedated with his medications.  A little boy should be running around and having fun - that's what little boys do.  I never saw him before meds, but his lack of energy worried me.  Please don't mistake me, I'm not criticizing foster parents who have children on meds.   I think of long term foster parents as guardian angels sent to protect and nurture these children. The vast majority of foster parents that I've met love the children like their own flesh and blood.   However, I think we should all carefully consider the decision to put children on meds.

  I'm just a humble veterinarian so I don't have any training on psychotropic meds in children, but I do know a little about the use of meds in dogs.   I will never send home behavior-altering medications in any pet without first discussing what training needs to be accomplished, and referral to a qualified trainer.  There's no alternative to actually correcting behavior.   Additionally, I won't keep a pet on meds long term without bloodwork to monitor organ function.   Every single medication we give to pets or people has a consequence, has an effect on organs, has an effect on the brain... There is nothing that is 100% safe.  

    So what about these medicines in children?

• Do we know what effects they have on their brain? organs?
• Are they more likely to use drugs in the future?
• Are we PREVENTING them from LEARNING good behavior and instead teaching them to rely on medications?  
• What about future effects?  Children are developing their thought processes.  Their brain is growing and changing.  Are we hurting their future by using these medications?  

I did a brief search through scholarly articles and research papers, and found only that "more research is needed" to determine long term effects.

For children that are in care who seem a little...energetic.   Wouldn't it be better to send them to play tag outside when they are rambunctious?   If they are in class, maybe some jumping jacks and stretching as a class would help children who are restless sitting there.  It would also help with the obesity epidemic... Little boys aren't supposed to be still.  They should be running, playing, jumping, and saying "HEY!  Look what I can do!"   Also maybe we should cut back on the processed foods and sugars before adding medications.  

Honestly, I don't know what the answer is...but I hate seeing children on medication.   I hope that we can all carefully consider the use of behavior modifying medications, and I hope we can find ways to manage behavior safely with minimal use of medications.

Peace and Love, y'all

Fostering, adopt them, well behaved foster children

We jumped back into fostering this past weekend.  We got the call on Friday night.  "Can you take 3 boys for the weekend?" The foster mom explained that her usual respite provider canceled at the last moment.  When a foster family needs a break, respite providers provide this break.  The boys were aged 5, 11, and 16.  The younger 2 were brothers.  After Chase and I talked about it, we decided we could provide a place for these boys.

They arrived at our house about 1 hour after I got off from work.  They carried in their clothing for the weekend stay in plastic shopping bags.  Their foster mom explained their medicines and care.  Their foster dad carried in a TV for the oldest's xbox.  I showed them into our home and gave the children a tour.  The two littlest happily claimed the yellow bedroom, and the oldest the blue room.  We sat with the boys and chatted for a while, and started a movie.   The youngest quickly fell asleep on our couch.  Both of the older boys offered to carry him to his bed, but we gently woke him up.  The little one's brother walked him down the hall and tucked him to bed.  The middle one went to bed too.  The oldest and Chase stayed up enjoying video games while Mary and I went to bed as well.


The next morning, the boys stayed with Chase while I went to work.  Mary was fussy so Chase didn't get to spend much quality time with them.  When I got home, I took over caring for Mary.  We got out the legos and played with the youngest.   He loved legos! We made a stable for the horses, and helped the police drive their boats.  I put on a movie while I went to feed Mary.  When I got done, we all ate grilled cheese sandwiches and grapes.  Then we went on a walk.  I let the middle boy walk Ruby, and the smallest got to walk Gary.  I pushed the stroller.  Gary was a perfect companion for the little guy.  Gary doesn't pull or bark anymore.  He just totters along slowly.  Chase and the oldest played video games together.  Chase has a Civil War game so I hope the oldest learned the history of some Civil War battles too!

When we got home, Chase gave cooking lessons to the 2 oldest while I played Uno with the youngest.  Over dinner we asked the boys what they liked.  The middle one loved all sports except for basketball.  The two youngest both loved swimming, and hoped to do some this summer.  We learned the oldest has his drivers license and wanted to purchase a car.  He wanted to join the navy after school, because it's a family tradition.  He was sad he couldn't leave the state to visit family.   All 3 children were hoping to be able to return to their mothers this summer. 

 Reunification is the goal of fostering.    Almost all foster children dream of reuniting with their families.  It doesn't matter how messed up the biological family seems, children want their family.  We are frequently asked "Don't you want to adopt them?" with regards to the foster children.  And the answer is...NO  we want their biological families to get the support and help they need to turn things around.  We want the biological families to provide loving and supportive homes for their children.   That is what is best for the children.  Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen.  Of course, we would adopt a long term foster in that case, and love them as much as we love MM.  BUT that is not what we hope and pray for.


 As usual, we instantly loved these children.  I've never met such a polite teenager.  Even though the 2 other boys weren't related to him, it was obvious he protected and cared for them.  The 2 brothers were just so sweet.  When their foster parents came to pick them up, we told them they are welcome to call us as respite providers any time.  Oftentimes when I tell others how well behaved/sweet/kind/helpful/not bad/anything good the foster children are, I'm immediately asked "Isn't that unusual to get a well behaved foster child?"   This question drives me bonkers, but provides an excellent opportunity to explain the truth.  The truth is...the children are JUST CHILDREN.  They have been through some awful things, but they are just children.  Foster children DID NOTHING to become foster children.  It's not their fault.  They didn't deserve this.  The poor children don't need a stigma - they face enough challenges already.  Foster children need love, acceptance, stability, and fun just like a non-foster child.  It breaks my heart that there is a misconception that foster children are innately poorly behaved. 

If anyone stumbles across this blog and is curious about fostering.  Drop me a line with questions.

Peace and Love, y'all


Chase and I are still waiting for "the call" that we can say yes to.  We aren't sure if we are ready for a long term foster, but we're ready to try.  Right now we are more comfortable with sibling groups or a boy since Chase is a stay-at-home-daddy.  We were called yesterday about a teenage girl, but we had to say no.   Saying no is more difficult than saying yes. 

Life Continues

My maternity leave officially ended on April 7th as I headed back to work. I've been so busy!  Life is full of work and baby, work and baby, work and baby.   But I love it.  I love working, and I love being a mom.  I just hope I can maintain a balance!


Here' are some scrapbook layouts with Jen Wright's kits :) 

Cloth diapers

So Chase and I have been trying this cloth diapering thing. So far it's not bad. Breast-fed baby poop doesn't really stink all that much, and it comes off in the wash without any trouble.  After doing a little bit of research we ordered a couple different types of cloth diapers to try out. We ordered some pocket diapers and some diaper covers to get started.

 We ordered six LBB pocket diapers with microfiber inserts from Amazon. So far they work well for our 12 pound, 1 month old baby. We only have had a couple times where poop blew out the sides.  When changing the diaper I remove the insert from the diaper, and throw them in a wet bag. When I'm ready to wash them, I just throw it all into the wash. I run a prewash cycle on cold. Then I wash them with Tide original powder and hot water.  I hang dry the covers and machine dry the inserts.  I've washed them probably six times now and they have held up very well. These are Chase's favorite because they're the easiest to use.  The downside to the pocket diapers is the fact that these have to be washed after every time baby soils the diaper.  Therefore you need a bunch of them!  We also have 2 Bum Genius 4.0 pocket diapers, and they are very nice.  With a total of 9 pocket diapers, we use all of them in 1 day.

We chose to use Thirsties Duo Wrap Snap Covers Size 1 with Osocozy prefolds Size 1 and a Snappi.  These were a little bit more challenging to get the hang of. You have to use a prefold diaper then cover it with the diaper cover.   I use a jelly roll fold on the prefold.  Basically...I place baby on unfolded prefold, roll the leg ends toward the center, bring the rolls up to the front, roll the extra down, and attach a Snappi.    Then you snap on the cover and tuck prefold into the cover.   I actually quite like the system because you can reuse the covers until they get poop on them. This seems like the cheapest route to go. You only need a couple covers to make the system work, and prefolds are relatively inexpensive.  

Since the pocket style diapers will be easiest for day care, I decided to go ahead and order some more.  Based on recommendations from friends, I ordered 12 Sunbaby size 2 diapers.  We  chose the combination inserts.  I'll let you know what we think.  They should arrive in 2 weeks or so.

So far we've spent $200 on cloth diapering (6 pockets, 4 covers, and 24 prefolds, 1 packet snappis) and that would be sufficient if I did laundry every day.   Since I hate doing laundry, I ordered 12 more pocket style diapers for $70.  SO for $270 I will have plenty of diapers for my baby.  The diaper wraps will fit her until about 18 pounds, but the pocket diapers are all 1 size.  I plan on saving all of my diapering supplies for the next baby.  

Mary goes through about 8 diapers a day.   Let's say that decreases as she gets older.   6 a day X 365 =  2,190.  Most diapers I've looked at are around $0.20 per diaper. That's $440ish for the first year.  I plan on using these for the next baby so it seems clear that we'll save some money-even if I take into account washing/drying. Plus we'll not contribute as much to land fills ;)

I hope this post helps somebody.  Starting up with cloth diapers can be daunting, but I think it's worth it in the long run.

Peace and love, y'all

What did we need for MM?

When I was making registries and purchasing items I thought we would need for MM, I was clueless.  What do you really need for a baby?   It seems like I ended up with more gadgets than I really need so I wanted to share what I think is useful...and what is fluff!

But first...Happy Valentine's Day from all of us!!!

 

MM is 6.5 weeks old! Where did all that time go?

 And yes.... I made Chase wear a matching red shirt for this family photo.  I originally had a different shirt on too, but a las...it got covered in spit-up before the photo!

Useful baby tools....

 So here it is: what we use more than anything else.  For the majority of the day, we are in the family room.  We have a pack-n-play with changer/napper that we use most of the time.  The little thing she's resting in flips over to become a changer.   Since she's not really mobile yet, we use the rest for diaper and clothes storage.  I keep her mostly commonly used clothing (a couple of onsies, 2-3 pajamas, pants, and blankets) in the pack-n-play for easy access.  Since we use this as a changing table, her diapers are stored here as well.   So if we didn't have help from family on purchasing this stuff or were limited on space?  All we really needed would have been...

• diapers and wipes
• a few changes of clothes
• pack-n-play
• car seat
• carrier (we have an Ergo)
• rocking chair - we could make do without it, but it's so nice to have a comfy chair.
• Burp rags - put them in every room! 

Stuff we might use, but really didn't need at this point.

• crib  - probably useful later
• bassinet - we use it a little each night.   I use it mostly as a safe place to put her while I'm getting ready in the morning.  We have one with lights, music, and mobile...and it vibrates.  All those little bells and whistles usually keep her distracted for the 10 minutes it takes me to get ready in the morning.  We always put her in it with a wearable blanket, on her back when we try to go to sleep...but then she ends up bed-sharing with us by morning.  
• Swing - we get her to chill in the swing about once per day for about an hour.  Is it worth an hour break?  Sure is!
• bottles - I suppose I should introduce her to the bottle at some point before I go back to work... So far I haven't used them.
• Pacifiers - she won't really take a pacifier. 
• Changing table - we don't own one, and I don't think we need one.   
• A bazillion onesies - we have way too many baby clothes! 
• Receiving blankets - why do they make these so small?  They are pretty much useless once your baby grows a little.  The cotton swaddling blankets are much more useful.
• Nursery - maybe useful when she's older.  For now, she sleeps in our room and spends the rest of the time in the family room or wherever we are.
• Dreft - We started out using dreft, but MM doesn't really have sensitive skin.  I use Tide Original Powder for her diapers and that works really well.  I might continue to use dreft for her clothes...but that's because I just love the smell.
• Burp cloths - Not really needed for a breastfed newborn
• Diaper pail - We have a fancy-smancy diaper pail in the nursery, but it's not really necessary for newborn diapers.   Breastfed baby poop isn't that stinky...so just take the trash out regularly and nothing fancy is needed.  For the cloth diapers, we use a wet bag that hangs next to the pack-n-play.
• high chair -Not needed for a newborn.
• baby shoes - cute, but she doesn't walk yet

Peace and Love, y'all!  I hope someone finds this helpful :)

New Blog Title, Life With a New Baby, and Fostering

Can you believe I've been a mommy for 5 weeks now?  My little MM is growing way too fast!   I'm so blessed I get 3 months of leave to spend with her.    I've been scrapbooking up a storm (in between rocking a baby and nursing).    It looks like this year my Project Life weekly layouts will be double pages!  I can't seem to limit pictures to just one page.   Full credits to these pages are in my Facebook gallery

 

  I have to mention this is a kit by Jen Wright Designs called Sweet Baby Girl.  She made it for me to document our new little one's early days.  I love it!  Thank you, Jen.  The next 2 layouts are also with Sweet Baby Girl.

 

 

 

2015!!

 

This one is all about taking MM home.  What a way to start 2015, right?!

 

Our first couple days at home!  I look so exhausted!

 

Week 2!  BELLY BUTTON TIME!  We're still learning to be parents. 

 

The second page for week 2.  My mother watched MM while Chase and I went on a date.  He almost had to wrestle the cell phone out of my hands I was so nervous leaving MM at home!

Week 3!  Look how big she's getting!  This week it was really clear that she adores her daddy!

iphones probably weren't created for photo-obsessed, new moms...but I love mine for documenting how fast MM is growing!  Look at that little face!  I just can't take enough pictures!


 In other news, we recently had an update on one of our former foster children.   Let's just say we have a huge decision to make, and we could use your prayers for wisdom...and a job for Chase!  We're not sure what the future holds...or what we are called to do.  My heart goes out to this little one, and I pray God will clarify what our role in his life should be.   Actually...we need prayers to figure out in what capacity we are called to help the foster children.  Are we ready to become full time fosters?  Am I ready to start doing weekend respite again?  I sure do miss them all...Lego Luke & Lando, the 3 Little Bears, Princess Peach, and Scooby & Shaggy.  I hold all of them so dear in my heart.  How does it all fit together?

Peace and Love, y'all!

PS  did you notice I changed the title of our blog?  We are a family of 3 now!

Our Little M&M: We had a Baby!

December 29, 2014 - Tuesday - 39 weeks and a few days.  

The day before Mary's birth day.  I think she's trying to kick out!

 I tried going to work this morning, but I just felt awful: tired, weak, and congested.   So I took care of some patients, and told the office manager I was done.   I was too uncomfortable and tired, and I was ready to start maternity leave.   I slept most of the rest of the day.  Mom woke me up to eat, and we went to get the car seat safety inspected.  We ordered Chinese food that night, but I was almost too tired to eat. 

December 30, 2014 - Wednesday

I woke up around 4 am with what felt like mild period cramps.  After they came and went for a few times, I realized they could be contractions.  So I started timing them.   Sure enough they were coming every 7-8 minutes and lasted about a minute.  I still wasn't sure this was it.  Then my gut decided to empty itself (a common sign of labor), and had my "bloody show."  I cried then because I knew I would soon be holding my little girl.   I continued to time contractions with a stupid grin on my face until everyone else woke up.    I told Chase when he started to stir around 6 am.  “You’ve been in labor for 2 hours and didn’t tell anyone?!”  As I was walking down the hall, my parents were just waking up.  Mom asked me how I felt, and I replied “I think we’re having a baby today. I’ve been having contractions since 4 am.”  Needless to say, they were very excited and ready to go straight to the hospital!  I wanted to stay home as long as possible.  I'm pretty sure I overheard mom on the phone say "my stubborn daughter" at one point.  I had a nice breakfast of cinnamon rolls, scrambled eggs, and clementines.   I regret eating the clementines…  By 11:00 am, contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes and lasted about 1 minute.  My parents kept urging me to go to the hospital, but I wanted to stay home for as long as possible.   I didn’t even feel like I needed the doula by that time.

This one is feeling a bit stronger...

 Contractions started feeling stronger around 1pm and were still coming every 3-4 minutes, and I had to start trying some coping techniques and positions.  We called the doula, and once she arrived headed to the hospital.  My parents were very uncomfortable with me waiting any longer.  Mom said she didn’t want to deliver the baby at home.  I was paranoid that I wouldn't be far enough into labor and the hospital would send me home.

Contractions in the car on the way to the hospital.  No fun!  It's hard to focus on breathing in the car!

We got checked into the hospital, and I was very worried I wouldn’t be dilated enough.    I did NOT want to get sent home.  The doctor checked me in the triage room, and I was at 5 cm.  I was at 4 the week before.   The doctor said “I see no indication that you’re NOT in active labor, so we can admit you if you like.”  So I got moved to a delivery room.   The hospital already had my birth plan on file so they printed a few copies for the nurses and staff.  I have to say, they followed it to a T! 

 They placed a catheter with a heparin lock (no fluids), and the anesthesiologist discussed an epidural just in case I changed my mind once things got intense.   I never saw her again, and no one mentioned medications after that.  It was part of my plan that no one would offer pain meds unless I asked for them with the code word "Jelly Bean."   I continued to labor through the day.  We dealt with contractions with breathing, moaning, and trying different positions.  I tried slow dancing with Chase, and that worked for a few contractions.   

Slow dancing with Chase (and our doula, Alyssa)

Other positions we tried: birthing ball (nope), hands and knees (nope), and some others (nope). Eventually I settled on side-lying as the best position for me to deal with contractions.   

 

Transition phase!  OUCH.   Mom is rubbing my back, Alyssa is stroking my hair, and Chase is holding my hand.  All of them are encouraging me to hang in there!

 At some point in the mid-afternoon, I started to lose energy and threw up multiple times.  Chase said I started saying things like “I can’t do this,” but I have no memory of that. 

 

Hang in there!

 I remember people had been rubbing my back, but I asked everyone to stop touching me during transition phase.  Our doula suggested a warm shower, and that was heavenly.  I felt so much better with the warm water being sprayed on my belly.  Chase came and stood by the shower and directed the stream of water at my stomach.  Once he started feeling tired and dizzy, the doula stepped in.   As I sat in the shower, I started to have little twinges of feeling like I needed to push.   The urge to push feels like your need to pass a bowel movement.   I have no idea how long I was in the shower, but when I was ready to get out things started moving quickly.   Chase and the doula kept cold compresses on my neck and forehead.  Shortly after getting out of the shower, my water broke.  I remember feeling a distinct pop and then a gush of fluid.  The pop didn’t hurt, but was very strange feeling - like something just disconnected and there was less pressure in my stomach.  

 Around 7:30pm, I really felt the need to push.  I remember saying "I need to push! I need to push!"  Dr. Hecker assumed the position, and the labor nurse joined us as well as an OB/GYN resident.   At that point, I really wouldn't have cared if they invited an entire class in to watch, I just wanted to push!  I remember joking with the nurse that “I guess it’s too late for an epidural” once I started feeling "the ring of fire."  Yup definitely too late.  Lol.  The poor nurse took me seriously forgetting I had a code word of "Jelly Bean" if I seriously wanted pain meds.  I never once wanted some "jelly beans."   I started out pushing in the side-lying position, but felt like I needed to move.  The doctor told me that part of my cervix was a little swollen from being on my side from most of labor, and that changing positions might help a little. 

 

Time to push!  I about crushed Chase's hand.  Then I decided it was time for a change!

  So the nurse dropped the second half of the bed down, tilted the head part up, and placed what looked like a roller-coaster bar for me to grab.  The squatting position felt the best.  

 

The wildest roller coaster ride I've ever been on!

 The nurse and Dr. Hecker were so incredibly encouraging during the pushing phase.  After every push, I would ask if you could see her head yet.  Once she started to make her appearance, Dr. Hecker said “She’s got a head full of hair!”  At one point, the nurse took my hand and let me feel her head.   That's a crazy feeling!  Once her little ears emerged, the rest of her rapidly squirted out (8:56pm).    So what did pushing feel like?  It's a lot like having a bowel movement... even without actively pushing, my body still contracted to push Mary out.  You just can't resist the urge to push.  It was pretty cool, because I could feel the pressure moving lower and lower with every push.  I knew I was making progress!   Once she started to crown, it felt like a ring of fire - lots of stinging.  At that point, I was VERY MOTIVATED to push!   My own pushing efforts became a lot more effective as I was determined to get that baby out and stop the burn. My mom said I pushed for 2.5 hours, but it felt like much less than that to me! After she was born, I felt the most intense relief!   My body just felt so much better.  It felt so good to NOT be pregnant.  Mary, on the other hand, was sputtering and purple.   

Look what I pushed out!  She's a pretty purple baby.

They placed her on me for a few seconds, but she still was having trouble breathing.  So Chase cut the cord, a nurse took Mary to get suctioned with Chase holding her little hand.   Dr. Hecker stayed with me to assess the damage.  I tore.  A lot.  I could see Chase and the baby in the other room, and the nurses assured me they were fine.   

She's starting to look more pink and cry.  It was clear she knew daddy's voice.  I saw her crying then turn her head toward Chase when he spoke to her.

Pretty soon they brought a pink and crying baby back and placed her on my chest.  She was bright and alert and the prettiest baby I’ve ever seen.  Chase stayed right next to us, and we spent my hour of skin-to-skin wondering at the little miracle in my arms.  Meanwhile, Dr. Hecker went to work repairing my torn tissue.  I had a partial 3rd degree tear in the shape of a Y.  I could tell even my non-squeamish mom (nurse for 30 years) was upset by it.  Maybe it's a good thing I couldn't see what was going on.   Chase said he heard Dr. Hecker order a line of pitocin and the word "hemorrhage," but I heard none of that.  

 

Two brand new parents in love with their daughter.

After they were finished repairing me, grandpa came back in to meet his first grandbaby!

 That first hour went so quickly!  They weighed her at 8 pounds 11 ounces and 19.75 inches.  She was bigger than we expected!    She passed her subsequent exams with flying colors: 10 fingers, 10 toes, normal joints, normal everything! Yippee!  I didn’t accept any pain meds during labor, but I certainly took them as soon as Mary was born!  By the time Dr. Hecker was done repairing me, we were ready to move to the next room.  With the nurse's help I got up and she started to help me put on a new gown, and I started to pass out....but we got it all done and I rode on up to the next room.

  Those next 2 nights I was as weak as a kitten and just so exhausted and HUNGRY.   My goodness I was hungry!  I was so glad that room service was included in my hospital stay.  I had a sandwich at midnight, and an omelet as soon as the kitchen reopened that morning.   Over the next 2 days, the nurses helped me get back on my feet and learn the ropes of caring for a newborn.   The nurses helped with diaper changes and teaching me to breastfeed.   Breastfeeding is not as easy as it looks!  

I think Chase was about as exhausted as I was.   The doula had to ask him to take breaks to eat and rest to keep his strength up for me!  Doulas are just as much for the dad as the mom!  This little family of three was exhausted!  I was in labor for about 18 hours and pushed for 2.5.

 That's my labor story!  Looking back would I still have done a natural labor?  Absolutely!  It was hard, but I loved experiencing it!  It wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be.  However...recovering from a tear...that's not something I'd wish on anyone!   That caused me more pain and trouble than any part of labor.  I feel like my recovery would be going a lot faster if it hadn't been for the tear.  I'm still sore and move gingerly.  The good news is both my doctor and the specialist I went to said I'll make a full recovery probably with no lasting consequences.  Most importantly, my little Mary is as fit as can be!

We left the hospital as a family of 3 on January 1^st.  What a way to start the new year!  My mom stayed with us for about 2 weeks helping us with the baby and around the house.  I can’t believe we’ve had her for a month now!  She grows so quickly!  We weighed her yesterday and she was 10.6 pounds!  Her newborn clothes are too small.   Taking care of a little baby is exhausting, but oh so wonderful.   She’s for the most part an easy baby - content to snuggle with whoever will hold her, but she gets a little fussy every evening.    Chase hasn’t quite got a job lined up after he graduated in December so he’s been able to just focus on being a dad.  He’s wonderful at getting her to sleep!  That little girl loves her daddy!  The hospital told us to feed her every 2-3 hours even at night until her jaundice cleared up and she established a good pattern of weight gain.   At her 2 week check up, she was doing fabulous so we got the go ahead to feed her at her whims instead of by the clock.  Hooray!   She still doesn’t sleep well through the night, but she doesn’t really cry - just wakes us up when she’s hungry.  Then she snuggles right up and goes back to sleep.  I just love her to pieces, and I can’t imagine life without her now.

While I was pregnant, people told me all about the bad things.  Get your sleep now (ha…as if I could when I was that huge).   Go on dates now because you’ll not be able to soon.  Etc etc etc.  What they could never fully describe is how your heart breaks into a thousand little pieces the instant you first see your baby.  Everytime I see my little daughter snuggling up with Chase, my heart melts into a little puddle on the floor.  I love my husband more now than ever.   Yes I’m tired, but I don’t mind.   This little creature needs me, and I need her.  Becoming a mother is best feeling in the world. 

Seeing her little face and holding her in my arms = WORTH IT ALL!