14 February 2015

What did we need for MM?

When I was making registries and purchasing items I thought we would need for MM, I was clueless.  What do you really need for a baby?   It seems like I ended up with more gadgets than I really need so I wanted to share what I think is useful...and what is fluff!

But first...Happy Valentine's Day from all of us!!!

MM is 6.5 weeks old! Where did all that time go?



 And yes.... I made Chase wear a matching red shirt for this family photo.  I originally had a different shirt on too, but a las...it got covered in spit-up before the photo!


Useful baby tools....
 So here it is: what we use more than anything else.  For the majority of the day, we are in the family room.  We have a pack-n-play with changer/napper that we use most of the time.  The little thing she's resting in flips over to become a changer.   Since she's not really mobile yet, we use the rest for diaper and clothes storage.  I keep her mostly commonly used clothing (a couple of onsies, 2-3 pajamas, pants, and blankets) in the pack-n-play for easy access.  Since we use this as a changing table, her diapers are stored here as well.   So if we didn't have help from family on purchasing this stuff or were limited on space?  All we really needed would have been...
  • diapers and wipes
  • a few changes of clothes
  • pack-n-play
  • car seat
  • carrier (we have an Ergo)
  • rocking chair - we could make do without it, but it's so nice to have a comfy chair.
  • Burp rags - put them in every room! 
Stuff we might use, but really didn't need at this point.
  • crib  - probably useful later
  • bassinet - we use it a little each night.   I use it mostly as a safe place to put her while I'm getting ready in the morning.  We have one with lights, music, and mobile...and it vibrates.  All those little bells and whistles usually keep her distracted for the 10 minutes it takes me to get ready in the morning.  We always put her in it with a wearable blanket, on her back when we try to go to sleep...but then she ends up bed-sharing with us by morning.  
  • Swing - we get her to chill in the swing about once per day for about an hour.  Is it worth an hour break?  Sure is!
  • bottles - I suppose I should introduce her to the bottle at some point before I go back to work... So far I haven't used them.
  • Pacifiers - she won't really take a pacifier. 
  • Changing table - we don't own one, and I don't think we need one.   
  • A bazillion onesies - we have way too many baby clothes! 
  • Receiving blankets - why do they make these so small?  They are pretty much useless once your baby grows a little.  The cotton swaddling blankets are much more useful.
  • Nursery - maybe useful when she's older.  For now, she sleeps in our room and spends the rest of the time in the family room or wherever we are.
  • Dreft - We started out using dreft, but MM doesn't really have sensitive skin.  I use Tide Original Powder for her diapers and that works really well.  I might continue to use dreft for her clothes...but that's because I just love the smell.
  • Burp cloths - Not really needed for a breastfed newborn
  • Diaper pail - We have a fancy-smancy diaper pail in the nursery, but it's not really necessary for newborn diapers.   Breastfed baby poop isn't that stinky...so just take the trash out regularly and nothing fancy is needed.  For the cloth diapers, we use a wet bag that hangs next to the pack-n-play.
  • high chair -Not needed for a newborn.
  • baby shoes - cute, but she doesn't walk yet
Peace and Love, y'all!  I hope someone finds this helpful :)

11 February 2015

New Blog Title, Life With a New Baby, and Fostering

Can you believe I've been a mommy for 5 weeks now?  My little MM is growing way too fast!   I'm so blessed I get 3 months of leave to spend with her.    I've been scrapbooking up a storm (in between rocking a baby and nursing).    It looks like this year my Project Life weekly layouts will be double pages!  I can't seem to limit pictures to just one page.   Full credits to these pages are in my Facebook gallery


  I have to mention this is a kit by Jen Wright Designs called Sweet Baby Girl.  She made it for me to document our new little one's early days.  I love it!  Thank you, Jen.  The next 2 layouts are also with Sweet Baby Girl.
 
 



2015!!
This one is all about taking MM home.  What a way to start 2015, right?!

Our first couple days at home!  I look so exhausted!


Week 2!  BELLY BUTTON TIME!  We're still learning to be parents. 


The second page for week 2.  My mother watched MM while Chase and I went on a date.  He almost had to wrestle the cell phone out of my hands I was so nervous leaving MM at home!


Week 3!  Look how big she's getting!  This week it was really clear that she adores her daddy!



iphones probably weren't created for photo-obsessed, new moms...but I love mine for documenting how fast MM is growing!  Look at that little face!  I just can't take enough pictures!


 In other news, we recently had an update on one of our former foster children.   Let's just say we have a huge decision to make, and we could use your prayers for wisdom...and a job for Chase!  We're not sure what the future holds...or what we are called to do.  My heart goes out to this little one, and I pray God will clarify what our role in his life should be.   Actually...we need prayers to figure out in what capacity we are called to help the foster children.  Are we ready to become full time fosters?  Am I ready to start doing weekend respite again?  I sure do miss them all...Lego Luke & Lando, the 3 Little Bears, Princess Peach, and Scooby & Shaggy.  I hold all of them so dear in my heart.  How does it all fit together?

Peace and Love, y'all!

PS  did you notice I changed the title of our blog?  We are a family of 3 now!


01 February 2015

Our Little M&M: We had a Baby!



December 29, 2014 - Tuesday - 39 weeks and a few days.  
The day before Mary's birth day.  I think she's trying to kick out!

 I tried going to work this morning, but I just felt awful: tired, weak, and congested.   So I took care of some patients, and told the office manager I was done.   I was too uncomfortable and tired, and I was ready to start maternity leave.   I slept most of the rest of the day.  Mom woke me up to eat, and we went to get the car seat safety inspected.  We ordered Chinese food that night, but I was almost too tired to eat. 

December 30, 2014 - Wednesday
I woke up around 4 am with what felt like mild period cramps.  After they came and went for a few times, I realized they could be contractions.  So I started timing them.   Sure enough they were coming every 7-8 minutes and lasted about a minute.  I still wasn't sure this was it.  Then my gut decided to empty itself (a common sign of labor), and had my "bloody show."  I cried then because I knew I would soon be holding my little girl.   I continued to time contractions with a stupid grin on my face until everyone else woke up.    I told Chase when he started to stir around 6 am.  “You’ve been in labor for 2 hours and didn’t tell anyone?!”  As I was walking down the hall, my parents were just waking up.  Mom asked me how I felt, and I replied “I think we’re having a baby today. I’ve been having contractions since 4 am.”  Needless to say, they were very excited and ready to go straight to the hospital!  I wanted to stay home as long as possible.  I'm pretty sure I overheard mom on the phone say "my stubborn daughter" at one point.  I had a nice breakfast of cinnamon rolls, scrambled eggs, and clementines.   I regret eating the clementines…  By 11:00 am, contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes and lasted about 1 minute.  My parents kept urging me to go to the hospital, but I wanted to stay home for as long as possible.   I didn’t even feel like I needed the doula by that time.
This one is feeling a bit stronger...



 Contractions started feeling stronger around 1pm and were still coming every 3-4 minutes, and I had to start trying some coping techniques and positions.  We called the doula, and once she arrived headed to the hospital.  My parents were very uncomfortable with me waiting any longer.  Mom said she didn’t want to deliver the baby at home.  I was paranoid that I wouldn't be far enough into labor and the hospital would send me home.

Contractions in the car on the way to the hospital.  No fun!  It's hard to focus on breathing in the car!


We got checked into the hospital, and I was very worried I wouldn’t be dilated enough.    I did NOT want to get sent home.  The doctor checked me in the triage room, and I was at 5 cm.  I was at 4 the week before.   The doctor said “I see no indication that you’re NOT in active labor, so we can admit you if you like.”  So I got moved to a delivery room.   The hospital already had my birth plan on file so they printed a few copies for the nurses and staff.  I have to say, they followed it to a T! 

 They placed a catheter with a heparin lock (no fluids), and the anesthesiologist discussed an epidural just in case I changed my mind once things got intense.   I never saw her again, and no one mentioned medications after that.  It was part of my plan that no one would offer pain meds unless I asked for them with the code word "Jelly Bean."   I continued to labor through the day.  We dealt with contractions with breathing, moaning, and trying different positions.  I tried slow dancing with Chase, and that worked for a few contractions.   

Slow dancing with Chase (and our doula, Alyssa)
Other positions we tried: birthing ball (nope), hands and knees (nope), and some others (nope). Eventually I settled on side-lying as the best position for me to deal with contractions.   
 
Transition phase!  OUCH.   Mom is rubbing my back, Alyssa is stroking my hair, and Chase is holding my hand.  All of them are encouraging me to hang in there!
 At some point in the mid-afternoon, I started to lose energy and threw up multiple times.  Chase said I started saying things like “I can’t do this,” but I have no memory of that. 

 
Hang in there!

 I remember people had been rubbing my back, but I asked everyone to stop touching me during transition phase.  Our doula suggested a warm shower, and that was heavenly.  I felt so much better with the warm water being sprayed on my belly.  Chase came and stood by the shower and directed the stream of water at my stomach.  Once he started feeling tired and dizzy, the doula stepped in.   As I sat in the shower, I started to have little twinges of feeling like I needed to push.   The urge to push feels like your need to pass a bowel movement.   I have no idea how long I was in the shower, but when I was ready to get out things started moving quickly.   Chase and the doula kept cold compresses on my neck and forehead.  Shortly after getting out of the shower, my water broke.  I remember feeling a distinct pop and then a gush of fluid.  The pop didn’t hurt, but was very strange feeling - like something just disconnected and there was less pressure in my stomach.  

 Around 7:30pm, I really felt the need to push.  I remember saying "I need to push! I need to push!"  Dr. Hecker assumed the position, and the labor nurse joined us as well as an OB/GYN resident.   At that point, I really wouldn't have cared if they invited an entire class in to watch, I just wanted to push!  I remember joking with the nurse that “I guess it’s too late for an epidural” once I started feeling "the ring of fire."  Yup definitely too late.  Lol.  The poor nurse took me seriously forgetting I had a code word of "Jelly Bean" if I seriously wanted pain meds.  I never once wanted some "jelly beans."   I started out pushing in the side-lying position, but felt like I needed to move.  The doctor told me that part of my cervix was a little swollen from being on my side from most of labor, and that changing positions might help a little. 
 
Time to push!  I about crushed Chase's hand.  Then I decided it was time for a change!
  So the nurse dropped the second half of the bed down, tilted the head part up, and placed what looked like a roller-coaster bar for me to grab.  The squatting position felt the best.  
 
The wildest roller coaster ride I've ever been on!


 The nurse and Dr. Hecker were so incredibly encouraging during the pushing phase.  After every push, I would ask if you could see her head yet.  Once she started to make her appearance, Dr. Hecker said “She’s got a head full of hair!”  At one point, the nurse took my hand and let me feel her head.   That's a crazy feeling!  Once her little ears emerged, the rest of her rapidly squirted out (8:56pm).    So what did pushing feel like?  It's a lot like having a bowel movement... even without actively pushing, my body still contracted to push Mary out.  You just can't resist the urge to push.  It was pretty cool, because I could feel the pressure moving lower and lower with every push.  I knew I was making progress!   Once she started to crown, it felt like a ring of fire - lots of stinging.  At that point, I was VERY MOTIVATED to push!   My own pushing efforts became a lot more effective as I was determined to get that baby out and stop the burn. My mom said I pushed for 2.5 hours, but it felt like much less than that to me! After she was born, I felt the most intense relief!   My body just felt so much better.  It felt so good to NOT be pregnant.  Mary, on the other hand, was sputtering and purple.   

Look what I pushed out!  She's a pretty purple baby.
They placed her on me for a few seconds, but she still was having trouble breathing.  So Chase cut the cord, a nurse took Mary to get suctioned with Chase holding her little hand.   Dr. Hecker stayed with me to assess the damage.  I tore.  A lot.  I could see Chase and the baby in the other room, and the nurses assured me they were fine.   

She's starting to look more pink and cry.  It was clear she knew daddy's voice.  I saw her crying then turn her head toward Chase when he spoke to her.
Pretty soon they brought a pink and crying baby back and placed her on my chest.  She was bright and alert and the prettiest baby I’ve ever seen.  Chase stayed right next to us, and we spent my hour of skin-to-skin wondering at the little miracle in my arms.  Meanwhile, Dr. Hecker went to work repairing my torn tissue.  I had a partial 3rd degree tear in the shape of a Y.  I could tell even my non-squeamish mom (nurse for 30 years) was upset by it.  Maybe it's a good thing I couldn't see what was going on.   Chase said he heard Dr. Hecker order a line of pitocin and the word "hemorrhage," but I heard none of that.  

 
Two brand new parents in love with their daughter.

After they were finished repairing me, grandpa came back in to meet his first grandbaby!

 That first hour went so quickly!  They weighed her at 8 pounds 11 ounces and 19.75 inches.  She was bigger than we expected!    She passed her subsequent exams with flying colors: 10 fingers, 10 toes, normal joints, normal everything! Yippee!  I didn’t accept any pain meds during labor, but I certainly took them as soon as Mary was born!  By the time Dr. Hecker was done repairing me, we were ready to move to the next room.  With the nurse's help I got up and she started to help me put on a new gown, and I started to pass out....but we got it all done and I rode on up to the next room.


  Those next 2 nights I was as weak as a kitten and just so exhausted and HUNGRY.   My goodness I was hungry!  I was so glad that room service was included in my hospital stay.  I had a sandwich at midnight, and an omelet as soon as the kitchen reopened that morning.   Over the next 2 days, the nurses helped me get back on my feet and learn the ropes of caring for a newborn.   The nurses helped with diaper changes and teaching me to breastfeed.   Breastfeeding is not as easy as it looks!  
I think Chase was about as exhausted as I was.   The doula had to ask him to take breaks to eat and rest to keep his strength up for me!  Doulas are just as much for the dad as the mom!  This little family of three was exhausted!  I was in labor for about 18 hours and pushed for 2.5.
 That's my labor story!  Looking back would I still have done a natural labor?  Absolutely!  It was hard, but I loved experiencing it!  It wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be.  However...recovering from a tear...that's not something I'd wish on anyone!   That caused me more pain and trouble than any part of labor.  I feel like my recovery would be going a lot faster if it hadn't been for the tear.  I'm still sore and move gingerly.  The good news is both my doctor and the specialist I went to said I'll make a full recovery probably with no lasting consequences.  Most importantly, my little Mary is as fit as can be!


We left the hospital as a family of 3 on January 1st.  What a way to start the new year!  My mom stayed with us for about 2 weeks helping us with the baby and around the house.  I can’t believe we’ve had her for a month now!  She grows so quickly!  We weighed her yesterday and she was 10.6 pounds!  Her newborn clothes are too small.   Taking care of a little baby is exhausting, but oh so wonderful.   She’s for the most part an easy baby - content to snuggle with whoever will hold her, but she gets a little fussy every evening.    Chase hasn’t quite got a job lined up after he graduated in December so he’s been able to just focus on being a dad.  He’s wonderful at getting her to sleep!  That little girl loves her daddy!  The hospital told us to feed her every 2-3 hours even at night until her jaundice cleared up and she established a good pattern of weight gain.   At her 2 week check up, she was doing fabulous so we got the go ahead to feed her at her whims instead of by the clock.  Hooray!   She still doesn’t sleep well through the night, but she doesn’t really cry - just wakes us up when she’s hungry.  Then she snuggles right up and goes back to sleep.  I just love her to pieces, and I can’t imagine life without her now.

While I was pregnant, people told me all about the bad things.  Get your sleep now (ha…as if I could when I was that huge).   Go on dates now because you’ll not be able to soon.  Etc etc etc.  What they could never fully describe is how your heart breaks into a thousand little pieces the instant you first see your baby.  Everytime I see my little daughter snuggling up with Chase, my heart melts into a little puddle on the floor.  I love my husband more now than ever.   Yes I’m tired, but I don’t mind.   This little creature needs me, and I need her.  Becoming a mother is best feeling in the world. 

Seeing her little face and holding her in my arms = WORTH IT ALL!

17 December 2014

The Home Stretch (week 37)

So I'm in the last bit of week 37 now.  

So here's a belly shot with my stretch marks in all their glory.   I guess they aren't too bad.   So what does week 37 feel like?  In a word...uncomfortable.  It's hard to tie my own shoes!  

Any contractions?
Not sure.  No...I'm serious.  I don't know.  Last week there was a morning I woke up with an intense pain just on the right side.   I had to lay down to put my shoes on.   Was it a contraction?  Was it acid reflux? I don't know.  The doctor said the baby could be pushing my stomach down and into a funny spot.  I also have these little crampy spasms at random.  Are those Braxton Hicks?  I honest to goodness don't know.   Lol, I"m so clueless, I'll probably be well into active labor before I recognize it as labor!  

What about baby?
The little miss Mary is head down as always.  She "dropped" sometime last week, so she's locked and loaded!  I think she's still in the left occiput anterior position.   My doctor says she just reached the 7 pound mark and could come at any time.  My chiropractor said I'm in good alignment (and holding adjustments well).  I probably won't have another adjustment until after delivery :) I've had them every other week for the last month or two. 

Is the house ready?
I don't know... It's kinda mess, and I don't like how the baby's room is arranged!   Our freezer is full of premade freezer meals that I've been working on for the last week though :) And I still can't decide if I should order cloth diapers or just stick with what's easiest!   UGH

Am I ready?
Heavens yes!  I'm ready to have my body back.  I'm ready to be able to curl up in bed.  I'm ready to go for a jog!  I'm ready to be able to move freely again :)  And boy am I ready to have some time off from work to be a mommy!  I know it will be exhausting, but I just can't wait!  I just hope she's not late!  I want to maximize my time with my parents here when I'm a new mommy!

06 November 2014

Week 31 (and more)

As is usual, I'm late in posting.   My well-laid plans to post every week have translated to a blog post every month.  That's real life for you :)

As of tomorrow I will be 32 weeks.   Just a few more weeks before I'll be considered full term.  That's scary!  I still don't feel like we're ready, and I'm starting to have the urge to spend money like crazy!  MORE DIAPERS!  MORE BABY CLOTHES!  MORE BABY ACCESSORIES!!    I'll have to fight to keep myself out of stores at least until after the family baby shower.

The last couple weeks have been very good health wise.   I've still been feeling pretty good overall, but I've had a few more discomforts crop up.  Starting last week, I have terrible heartburn and reflux.  Yuck!  I also have a stretchy, popping sort of pain under my right ribs.  I discussed it with my doctor and she said it is likely my ribs getting stretched apart  as the baby and uterus expand upwards.  I've also got exactly 1 stretch mark (that I can see).  The doctor says everything is looking good.  My uterus/baby measurements are all exactly what they should be.   :)  My appointments have now gone from monthly to every 2 weeks.  In December, I'll see my doctor every week.   The receptionists already know me by name now.


At week 30, a local photographer (Tiger Paw Photography by Connie Harper) did a maternity photo shoot.  It was a complete blast.  I posted some of my favorite pictures.  


This one is probably my favorite because my dogs photo-bombed it!  They just can't be left out!  But man....look how HUGE my belly is!  

This one is just too cute too!






08 October 2014

Welcome to the 3rd Trimester

Well folks, we're on the home stretch now!   It's my Wednesday off and I thought it was time for an update :)

I'm 27 weeks into my pregnancy now.   I'm 2/3 of the way finished!  What's new this week?

I definitely feel rather large.  Sleeping is a bit a uncomfortable as I toss and turn a lot.  Of course the need to pee multiple times through the night doesn't really help.   Other than my rather round and sometimes wiggly belly, I'm feeling great.   This week is the first week I've noticed a linea nigra.  There's a faint dark line from a couple inches above my belly button that goes down my belly.  It's really faint, but very odd for me to see in the mirror.

I'm still trying to come up with our birth plan and decide if we should take a birth class...or just read a book.   When I called the hospital to ask questions about the class they offered, the lady who called me back was very condescending on her message.  "I can walk you through the online registering process if you couldn't figure it out.  Or I can just register for you if it's too difficult...."  Really?   Really?  My questions had nothing to do with registering... Maybe I'm just a little hormonal, but her message really irked me.  If that's what their birth class is like...maybe a different facility will be better...



Here's a layout I created with Jen Wright Design's new kit: Pumpkin Farm Pals.  

28 September 2014

Update September

So I just need to get over the fact that Google broke Picasa when they acquired it.   For the past 9 months, the Blog This button no longer functions from Picasa.  That used to be how I wrote all my posts to this blog.  If I hadn't been blogging on this site for almost 10 years...I would abandon ship and switch to a non-google platform.  It seems that Picasa, Blogspot, and Google are aware of the problem and no one cares enough to fix it.   How frustrating!  *end rant* 


31 August 2014

Waiting for our baby....


Last weekend, Chase and I went down to Arkansas to party with friends and family.  We decided to wait to find out if our baby is a he or a she until this party.  It was so hard not peeking, but I can say that neither one of us knew ahead of time!   


My cousin, Amy, was our secret keeper.  She ordered the cake and had it iced so that we couldn't tell until we cut into it.  :)  





It's a.....



GIRL!!!

 


 
We are delighted to announce that we are having a little girl!!  We couldn't be happier! 

In these photos, I'm at 21 weeks.




This week I started my 22nd week of pregnancy.  I can't believe I'm over half way through our pregnancy!  I'm just happy and so grateful that our little M&M is healthy! 
 
 
What's new this week?  Well not too much!  She's getting bigger and stronger, and all organ systems are completed.  She's been kicking since week 18, but her wiggling is definitely getting more frequent.  You can see her moving if you stare it my belly long enough.   It's like having an alien inside your stomach...  Speaking of my belly, our baby isn't the only one getting bigger....my belly is getting HUGE!  I know it's only going to get bigger, but it just seems so big now.   Some days I just feel really fat, but on other days...I feel more beautiful than ever.  My body has changed so much to prepare for our little M&M.   I'm just glad I can pretty much eat what I want now as the morning sickness has mostly passed.   I've only had 1 bout of it over the last 4 weeks (while I was on a house call...of course).  


Next week is Chase's thesis defense.  Say a prayer for him on Thursday that he'll pass...and know what to do after!  He has a job offer, but we just aren't sure about it.  We could use God's wisdom.  



Peace and Love, y'all!

06 August 2014

WOYWW



Wow!  It's been forever since I played along with Julia at The Stamping Ground's WOYWW!   What have I been up to?  Well....just being pregnant and working full time has taken up most of my crafting time!  The first trimester was pretty rough because morning sickness (that lasted all day) for the first 13 to 14 weeks.  But I'm now 18 weeks along and feeling much better.  I can almost always keep down food, and I can pretty much eat what I want (that's healthy for baby of course).   Most of my crafty projects lately have been all digital.  I'm trying to keep up with a weekly Project Life this year after all there are so many changes happening this year! 


Here's a layout for PL.  I used a kit by Jen Wright Designs called Salt Life.  It's a beach themed kit, but I liked the colors so I wanted to use it for a non-beachy layout :)  I think I used a PL template by Julie Billingsley and font by Darcy Baldwin (now both retired designers).


Here's another layout I made this last week with a kit by Erica Zane and template by Cindy Schneider.  This kit had a fox theme, but I loved the colors so I just had to find a way to use it :)


I've also been trying to document every week of my pregnancy in a Smash Journal.  I love the Smash journal format because it's no pressure!  I can write in question for my doctor, slap in a picture, and do whatever!    :)

 I'm a little behind with it too.  I'm all the way to week 18, but I didn't hardly journal at all for Weeks 16 or 17.  I guess I need to so some catch-up!


Well!  Thanks for popping by!   I'm going to try to pop by a couple of blogs today before I have to head off to work.  

Thanks for visiting!

Peace and Love, Y'all!

09 July 2014

Weeks 13-14, a light in the darkness


Pregnancy Update:
The weeks are just flying by! And that's a great thing, because I'm still vomiting a lot!  As of the end of this week I'll be about 15 weeks along in my pregnancy.  By all accounts now, the baby and I have made it through the first trimester!   I'm starting to show just a little bump now.    You'd have to know me well to recognize it, but I've put on about 5 pounds.  Sometimes I'm not really sure how I managed to gain any weight, because I don't feel like I've been eating more calories.  I still loose the occasional meal (and every other breakfast).  Breakfast and I are not pals.




The good news about reaching the 2nd trimester is my energy is starting to return.  As of today...I almost feel normal as far as energy goes.  I actually felt like doing more than just sleep after work.  That in itself is pretty exciting.

Over last weekend, I actually had enough energy to weed a flower bed.  There were a lot of weeds (and some of them were taller than me...), but I got it done.  Chase might have pulled up 1 particularly stubborn weed for me...


Even though over all I'm feeling better...the picture above is probably 40% of mornings.  Just hand me a bowl and leave me alone in the mornings...


Even though my doctor assures me listening with the doppler unit and using the ultrasound to glimpse the baby is not dangerous for the baby, I still only let myself listen to the baby once a week....and peek with the ultrasound once every 2 months.   I admit...I took a peek earlier this week.  Our ultrasound unit isn't fabulous, but I was able to find our little jumping bean.   The baby is very wiggly, and I was able to make out a tiny little face, cute dancing arms, and bouncing feet.  It was AWESOME to see my tiny dancer even if the detail on the US wasn't the best.  In the snapshot above, you can see 2 arms and the baby's noggin (with shadows of facial features).  I can't wait for my next real ultrasound!  We'll find out if the I can call the baby...a he...or a she :)




Other Ponderings about Children

Chase and I got an update this week on another child we care about: one of our former fosters.  I can't say too much about it, but Chase and I might be...or might not be... taking him into our home again.  If we do...there's a good chance he'll stay forever.   We'll still trying to pray and determine what God's will is for us and this little boy.  


As I sat outside on back patio, enjoying the low humidity on this summer day... I found my myself placing my hands over my growing belly.  I love this little baby wholeheartedly.  I'm scared.  I'm excited.  I can't wait to hold this baby in my arms, kiss her/his little face, tickle her/his toes, and love her/him for the rest of my life.  This must be how most mother's feel to some level.  Sure there are probably some with more fear...more anxiety, but I think most love the little baby. 

When I tell people, we are also foster parents...and that we don't intend to stop just because we're starting our bio family as well, the reactions are always mixed.  We get a lot of questions like...

Do you worry about foster children hurting the baby? Aren't foster children troubled?  Are you crazy?  Babies are ton of work; how can you even think of fostering with a newborn?

I can't say those thoughts don't run through my brain occasionally.  But here's the truth.  If we don't help them, will you?  If we don't step up to the plate, who will?  Yes.  There will be risk, because even the closest, most loving of siblings don't always get along.  Yes.  Foster children have a little more water under the bridge, and they can have some behaviors associated with that.  Yes.  It will be very difficult.  Isn't motherhood to biological children also difficult?  AND foster children are still just children.  They crave the things that your own kids crave more than anything else: someone to love them unconditionally.  I'm sure some of the foster children we will meet will have deep, deep scars.  But, honestly...it's not my job to heal them.  It's my role as a foster mom to love them and to provide a healing environment.  God is the healer.


One of the biggest reasons, I think we are still going to foster...is because it breaks my heart into tiny pieces.  I can't turn my back on these children.   I want to help them so badly in whatever capacity we can.  Truly, as much pain as foster parenting brings...turning my back on them hurts more.

Anyway... who knows what we'll do!  Maybe take a long term foster...maybe stick with respite.  Regardless of how, I know we'll do something to help.

Peace and Love, y'all!

Goals 2021

  After reflecting on last year's goals, I've settled on this year's ambitious goals. 1.     Grow your mind: Read 52 books  Th...